


Champagne Problems

by elysiumstars



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:13:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28939767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysiumstars/pseuds/elysiumstars
Summary: A Lin and Kya fic based on Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift
Relationships: Korra/Asami Sato, Lin Beifong/Kya II, Lin Beifong/Tenzin
Comments: 20
Kudos: 118





	1. Sometimes You Just Don't Know the Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First chapter! Let me know what you think :)

Lin Looked at herself in the mirror. She wore a tight dark green dress that accentuated her body. She hated it. She looked good, she knew that. She also knew that Tenzin would love it, maybe that made her hate it. No. There was no use in thinking like that now. They have come too far for Lin to ruin it with a stupid dress. A stupid dress that was itchy and made her want to just show up naked instead. 

She wondered what kind of party it would be. She wondered who would be there. Tenzin refused to tell her as he wanted it to remain a secret. She didn't understand why. What was the use in surprises when you've dated someone for eleven years? What more was there to look forward to? She liked stability. She liked boring. That's why the two of them just worked. Them getting together shocked no one. They were two pieces of a puzzle that fit. It made sense and that is what mattered to Lin. So much of her life was complicated things that did not make sense to her.

Suyin's lack of respect when she lashed out on her when Lin tried to raise her younger sister. She was ungrateful for what Lin scarified for her. She gave up her own childhood to help Suyin have a sense of direction that she never did.

Toph's lack of raising her and Suyin. Life was difficult, she understood that. Lin understood that life was difficult for everyone, but why could her mother not understand that it was only more difficult without a parent raising you? It was her job to tell them right from wrong to give them a sense of direction, but she failed. 

Kya's lack of stability. Kya viewed the world as her playground, she had no goals or motivations. The only thing she wanted out of life was to enjoy what she could while she could. Lin knew that this was naive because life needed to have a purpose. Life needed stability in order to have direction.

Lin knew how the world worked and this was why she was a successful person who had nothing to complain about. She did not understand the other three women, but in the end it didn't matter, because they all left.

Tenzin understood her and she understood him. She wanted to be the chief of police and help the city. He wanted to restore the air nomads while bringing peace through their ideas. The two goals were not so different. Both wanted to follow in the steps of their parents to make something better.

She started pinning her hair up in a bun. Tenzin would probably complain how it did not look nice enough, but the dress was enough for her. She would prefer to be in her uniform

Katara would most likely be there. She was visiting in town. Bumi also would since he was visiting. Kya also happened to be visiting. Wait. They were all visiting Republic City for the weekend. When Lin asked why, he said it was because they hadn't seen each other in a while. Oh. _Oh, shit._

"Lin, are you ready? We need to catch the ferry to Air Temple Island if we are going to make it on time!" he said after knocking on her door.

"Yeah, just a second!" she croaked in panic. She quickly finished her hair as she looked at herself in the mirror. What was she going to fo?

She walked out and Tenzin was sitting on the couch in the living room. He wore his fancier traditional robes that had some meaning that Lin forgot. The only thoughts that were floating in her head were ones of panic. He was going to propose.

"You look incredible," he said and smiled at her. "You should have worn your hair down, it would have brought out your eyes." She nodded and looked at the ground. "Not that I don't think you look incredible. Are you alright, Lin?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go," she said with a tight lipped smile. He didn't look like he believed it but they walked out the door anyway. 

Kya would be there. She hadn't seen her since Aang's funeral. That was a year ago. She constantly thought about the waterbender. She wondered what she was doing, how she was doing, who she was with.

"Lin, are you sure you're alright?" Tenzin asked as they sat next to each other on the ferry.

She gulped. Now was her chance. She wanted to ask him how he could be so sure that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. What did love mean to him? She sat there with her neutral face. "I'm fine."

They arrived at the island and she immediately spotted Bumi and Katara standing at the dock. They furiously waved at them as Tenzin stood up and waved back with a wide smile painted on his face. Lin wanted to ask so many questions to him. She couldn't though. She saw his wide smile and knew she could not break it. She was Lin Beifong. That name meant something. She was a police captain on her way to becoming the youngest chief. She would follow in her mother's footsteps in bringing peace and justice to Republic City. Tenzin wanted the same things she did. She appreciated that about him.

He was kind, caring, and gentle. She was rude and abrasive but somehow he had not run away. Even when her sister and mother and Kya had run away, he didn't. He stood by her side when everyone else left. How could she not want to marry him?

"Ten Ten!" Bumi shouted as they walked off of the ferry. Bumi ran to his brother and picked him up, swinging him as he laughed. Tenzin did not laugh as he tried fighting Bumi away but failed due to his leaner and weaker stature. 

"Bumi, let me go!"

"What? Not excited to see your big brother?"

"Of course I am, but I do not think I need to be swung like a child every time we see each other." Bumi smirked as he leaned over Tenzin's bald head and breathed heavily on it. He pulled his sleeve on his head to mimic him cleaning it. Bumi laughed like a child as Tenzin shot him a furious look.

"Hello, Mother," Tenzin said and kissed his mom's cheek.

"Hello Tenzin," she said and grabbed his face, looking at him tenderly. 

"Madame," Bumi said to Lin and bowed. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Looking like a ball of sunshine as always."

"Nice to see you too," she said flatly and walked past him. No one saw her quickly flick a piece of Earth up between Bumi's legs as it hit him directly in his downstairs area. He groaned as she smirked, walking to Katara. "Hello Katara."

"Lin, dear, how are you?"

"I'm alright, you?"

"Moving back home was a change, but it's been a nice one. Congratulations on being promoted to captain."

Lin had a small smile. "Thank you."

"You never cease to amaze us." Lin nodded awkwardly and smiled again. Tenzin, Bumi, and Katara began walking forward as Lin trailed behind them. She saw Bumi slightly limping and smiled.

She knew her family could never interact as affectionately as Tenzin's family did. She was always amazed when they did and never failed to awkwardly accept it when it was targeted towards her. She could not remember the last time her mother had hugged her or even asked how her day was before the chief left. Her mother had left a few months after the funeral. She quickly came by Lin's apartment to say goodbye and was gone within the next hour. Lin had not seen her since and had no way of contacting her. She was still deciding on whether or not she preferred it that way. 

They walked into the living quarters where Katara had already begun dinner. "Where's Kya?" Tenzin asked.

"I'm not sure. She was just helping me with dinner, but-"

"Right here, Ten Ten," Kya said. Lin's heart rate immediately skyrocketed at the voice of Kya. Kya was standing at the other door that led to the dining hall. She leaned against it as Lin finally raised her head to look at her. She looked no different from the last time she had seen her but she looked more mature. She wore a long blue dress and her dark hair was longer than the last time as she wore it down. The curls bounced with Kya as she wore a betrothal type necklace on her neck that brought out the blue in her eyes and her dress. When she looked into Kya's eyes, Kya's were already on Lin. Kya raised an eyebrow and quickly smirked before turning to her brother and crushing him into a hug. "How are you, little brother?"

"Do you still have to call me that? I'm only two years younger than you and we are both adults."

Kya had a bright smile and but her hand on her chin as she put on a serious face as though she was thinking every critically. "Well, airhead," Tenzin groaned and Bumi laughed, "according to my calculations two years younger does in fact mean _I_ was born first. In this case, I think this means you are in fact, my little brother." She did q quick curtsy as Bumi applauded her. The two elder siblings were laughing as Tenzin's face burned red. Lin couldn't help but lightly chuckle as she watched Kya curtsy. When Kya laughed with Bumi she looked into Lin's eyes and Lin's smile stopped as she gulped.

"Stop making fun of your brother, I am very proud of how grown up he has become," Katara said as she turned back to continuing dinner. 

"Thank you, Mother," Tenzin said with pride.

"Thank you, Mother," Bumi imitated in a stuffed voice to imitate his younger brother. Kya and Bumi laughed.

" _Bumi_ ," his mother said as a warning.

"Sorry, Mom," he said and kissed her head.

"You and Tenzin go set up the table." The two boys nodded as they walked past Kya to the dining hall.

"Hi, Lin," Kya said as she had a small, almost nervous smile that was very unlike her.

"Kya," she said with a short nod. Lin was suddenly reminded of what the dinner was going to consist of and her face grew green. "I'm going to step outside for air. I'll be back in just a moment." She ran off and toward the cliff which viewed all of Republic City, her favorite spot on the island. She sat there as her legs dangled over the cliff. The sun was setting as she noticed the buildings starting to light up in the city.

"Are you alright?" a voice behind her asked. Lin took a deep breath as Kya sat next to her.

"I didn't know you were married," Lin said sharply.

Kya laughed bitterly. "I'm not... My dad made this for me. When I was younger and complained about how none of the boys were good enough to ever marry, he made me a necklace. I had told him that none of the boys were as good as him, but that the necklaces were pretty and I wanted one." Kya rubbed the necklace on her neck. "He gave me this one and told me that if I didn't get married to a boy, it didn't matter, because I would always have him. I told him that that was good enough for me."

"I've never seen you wear it before."

Kya laughed. "Can you imagine me in my 20's wearing a betrothal necklace? I would never have been noticed by any of the girls. It immediately would have been a turn off. But when he died, it just seemed..."

"Right?"

"Yeah, it just made sense." Lin suddenly looked at Kya who was looking at her with a small smile. Lin looked back to the city as Kya did the same.

"Tenzin's going to propose."

"I know."

"I'm going to say yes."

Kya took a deep breath. "I know."

"You don't deserve an explanation."

"I know... Lin, I know you view me as the bad guy, but it isn't that simple."

"Of course it is."

"No, it isn't. Life isn't simple enough to label as bad and good or easy and hard. Life is complicated."

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it isn't! Lin, I was scared and I was confused. You never gave me a chance to explain before you ran off to-"

"Don't," Lin interrupted. "It doesn't matter anymore."

Kya sighed. "Of course it doesn't.... I just want you to be happy." Lin turned again to look at Kya. Kya looked at Lin. _Happy_. Lin studied Kya's face as her eyes landed on Kya's lips. Eleven years. "If marrying my brother will make you happy, then I want you to do that." Lin was brought out of her trance and nodded. 

She wondered what marrying Tenzin would be like. She imagined it would be much like the life they had now but more evenly split towards Air Temple Island. They had had the argument before about kids. Tenzin believed she would she would change her mind. She knew she would not. A little thing like that shouldn't change the fate of two people who love each other.

Lin suddenly saw Kya's hand moving upward. "What are you doing?" Lin asked. Kya didn't need to respond as a small droplet of water splashed onto Lin's forehead.

"Kya!" Kya's laugh radiated as the droplet dripped on her forehead. She moved another as Lin furiously wiped the water away. "Stop that, you're going to ruin my outfit! Stop acting like a child!" Kya only continued to laugh. Lin shook her head as she flicked her wrist upward. She moved the ground that Kya was sitting on forward as Kya was launched over the cliff into the water.

"Lin!" she yelled as she fell. Lin only laughed as Kya water bent a wave that she stood at the top of. She was now eye level to Lin who was still sitting down as she stood at the top of the wave she bent. "You're not funny."

"I thought it was funny," Lin said smugly and smirked.

"Lin Beifong, you threw me off a cliff!"

"I knew you would be okay."

"All I did was bend a few droplets! A few! And you threw me off of the cliff!" Lin laughed at Kya's frustration as Kya shook her head. Kya joined her in laughing as she bent herself back to the ground and sat back down next to Lin. "You're an ass."

"Maybe," Lin said and smiled. It occurred to Lin that this had been the most she had laughed in a long time. "We should get back." Kya nodded and stood up as they walked back to the kitchen. 

"Nice of you two to join when I'm almost done with dinner," Katara said.

"Spirits, how convenient," Kya said and smiled her charming smile at her mother. She stood next to her to finish helping as Lin watched the two of them work seamlessly together. 

"Is there anything I can help with?" Lin asked. 

"You can start bringing the appetizers to the table," Katara said and Lin nodded. Within the next few minutes, they were all seated at the table and eating. Katara sat at the head of the table with Bumi to her right and Tenzin to the left. Kya was next to Bumi as Lin was across from her and next to Tenzin.

"Kya, Mother told me you started at the hospital in the Southern Water Tribe?" Tenzin asked.

"I did. It's really nice so far. I've learned a lot about more technical procedures that are really helping me master my healing. I think I was always more connected to the spiritual side but staying grounded at one hospital is helping me round out my healing."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Thank you," she said and smiled. 

"Your father would be proud of you," Katara said and Kya's smile grew shy. "He'd be proud of all of you. You are all amazing children and always the most important thing to him. All he ever wanted for all of you was to be happy and be proud of your lives."

"I definitely think his children were prioritized ahead of his wife," Bumi joked.

"Oh, stop that, Bumi," she laughed. So, Lin, how is the force treating you?"

"It's going well," Lin said.

"No one treating you too badly?" Bumi asked. Lin smiled and shook her head. "Good, you can tell them Bumi, Air Force general will come after them."

"Right, that'll scare them away. Just like it scared your last girlfriend away," Kya joked. The table chuckled as Bumi was the loudest of them all.

"Oh, really, Kya? Like you're one to talk! What was your last girlfriend's name? The fire bender?"

Lin suddenly went quiet as she watched Kya, waiting for a response. Kya looked back up at Lin awkwardly. "Teiya."

"She put the fire in firebender!" he yelled and laughed. Tenzin laughed lightly as Katara smiled at her children. Lin and Kya were quiet as they looked at one another. Lin knew Kya dated people, it was a given. It was one thing to know about it and another to hear about it.

"Shut up, Boom," Kya groaned.

"I mean, hey, it's true. I give credit where credit is due, so well done little sister," Bumi said and raised a hand to Kya. She slowly raised her hadn't to connect to his for a high five before crossing her arms in her chair. 

"How is your search going for the next avatar, Mother?" Tenzin asked. 

"Well, it's a difficult task now that there are people of the water tribe all over the nations. We are not as concentrated in specific areas as we once were, but we are confident in our search."

"I'm glad to hear it. They will sprout under your guidance."

Katara smiled at Tenzin as Bumi rolled his eyes. Kya was still silent as she picked at her food. "Everyone ready for dessert? I'll start clearing the plates," Kya said suddenly and shot up. Bumi followed her into the kitchen.

"Lin, you're quiet today," Tenzin whispered to her.

"I'm quiet everyday," she responded. 

"Yes, but today seems..." Tenzin started sadly. Lin turned to him and gave him a quick kiss as he blushed.

"I'm sorry. I am okay, I'm just stressed from work is all." He smiled at her and she smiled back. She saw Kya in the background of her vision glancing at them but she didn't reciprocate the look as she handed Bumi her plate. Bumi brought out the champagne while Kya brought out the cake. She gave everyone a piece as Bumi handed everyone but Tenzin a glass.

"Come on, Ten Ten! Just this once!" Bumi said, offering him a glass.

"No, that is quite alright. Thank you." Lin quickly drank her first fluke of champagne and then her second. She saw Kya's drinking resembling her own as they both finished a bottle and opened a second one.

Tenzin stood up. "Well, since we are all gathered here today, I have something important to share." Lin watched him in panic and shock. "Lin Beifong, for twenty years you have been my best friend and the eleven that we have spent together have been the happiest of my life. You and I were meant for each other like an Airbender and his bison," he laughed. No one else laughed and he gulped nervously. "Anyway," he kneeled down on one knee and presented a betrothal necklace, "I know that necklaces are not traditional for either of us, but it is for my mother's side of the family and I believed it a worthy token of our future together. Lin Beifong, will you marry me?"

The room was silent. Lin wanted to puke. She knew everyone was watching her and the thought of that alone made her want to puke. If you add the weight of the question he was asking right now, she was surprised she hadn't done it already. She thought of her future with Tenzin. Them having four or five children to repopulate the air benders. Her having to actually bear the children. Her cooking dinner for her family. Them traveling the world to learn about their place as air nomads. Her eventually having to give up her position in the police force because her family's priorities were first. Tenzin would insist she keep her job but they would both know that it was becoming too difficult for her. She imagined them old and grey with grandchildren. They would call her something stupid like Maw Maw or Mammow. She would hate it.

She would hate it. She would hate it all.

"No."


	2. I Never Was Ready So I Watched You Go

"No."

The room's silence was intoxicating in the worst way. She wondered who would be the first to break the silence. She knew it would be right for her to say something first. She wanted Tenzin to ask why, Katara to yell, Bumi to make a joke, or Kya to laugh. Anything. Anything that would break the tension.

She knew they were surprised. Hell, she surprised herself. She wanted to take it back. Maybe that would fix everything, she could laugh it off as a joke. That wouldn't be very like her, but she didn't know what would be at this point. She was going to lose the only source of family she had left. She was going to lose them all because she had to screw everything up. Maybe she was more like Suyin than she thought. She was impulsive and made decisions on a whim. She was becoming one of the people she despised most.

 _I'm sorry!_ she wanted to scream. _I didn't mean it_.

She looked up at Tenzin who was gaping at her in disbelief. He was still on one knee as his mouth was open.

"Well, shit," she heard Kya whisper quietly. _Kya_.

"I'm sorry," she told Tenzin and looked down. She looked at Katara whose eyes were wide and that look of shock was painted into Lin's memory. The shock in Katara is what made her run out. The closest thing she still had left to a mother was now gone. She ran out of the hall. She heard her name but couldn't identify who it was. She didn't care as she ran to the dock. She realized how dark the sky was when no ferry sat at the dock. She looked up and saw the night sky. It was too late at night. No ferries would be coming until the morning. Fuck. _Fuck_.

"Fuck!" Lin yelled to the ocean.

Everything she had planned for was suddenly thrown out of the window and for what? Why did she have to be selfish and ruin everything? She had a man who loved her and would support her until the day she died, why wasn't that enough? She would lose her closest confidant and her only motherly figure and her own version of a big brother. She would truly have no one left now.

"Lin?" Kya asked as she stood at the opening of the dock. Lin turned around and saw the older woman's face red. Lin could tell she ran all the way here.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see if you're okay and then I was afraid of missing you."

"I'm stuck here," Lin said bitterly.

"You said no."

"Thank you for stating the obvious."

"Don't do that. Not to me."

"Just leave, Kya!"

"What are you going to do? Freeze to death out here? Stop being ridiculous."

"I'll figure it out," Lin said sternly and turned toward the ocean.

"I'll take you home."

Lin shook her head. "Absolutely not."

"Why not? I can get you across to the city."

"No."

"Stop being so stubborn, if you would just let me-"

"I don't need your help! Okay? So, just leave me again!"

She heard Kya take a deep breath and sigh behind her. She turned around but Kya was gone. Of course she was. She doesn't know why she would have expected anything different- Lin was suddenly in a water bubble and Kya was in front of her as it floated on top of the ocean towards Republic City.

"What are you..."

Kya rolled her eyes playfully. "Like you would have gone with me willingly."

Lin crossed her arms in annoyance and said nothing as she watched the water pass by them as they glided on it. Kya would give her a ride and then leave. That's all. She looked ahead as Kya guided them on the water. Kya had probably done it a lot as they were kids as she was proficient now. Watching her waterbend was always so grateful in the way she moved her arms. Her hair was reflected by the moonlight and the water and all Lin could do was stare. They arrived at the edge of Republic City as Kya landed them on their feet.

Lin stubbornly looked to the ground. "Thank you."

"Sorry, what was that?" Kya asked with a smirk. 

Lin rolled her eyes and started walking forward. She heard Kya follow her and as she groaned. She stopped walking and turned around to face Kya. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure you get home safe. The streets are dangerous, Chief."

"I'm not the Chief."

"Not yet."

"Go back to the island, Kya."

"Not until I am assured you arrive home safely."

"I'll send you a letter."

"Good try, but nope," Kya sang as she started walking forward.

"I just rejected my long-term boyfriend's proposal, so could you not be so happy?"

"I'm not happy, I'm only trying to bring you happiness."

"Do you think skipping is going to do that?"

"No, but it's certainly worth a shot," Kya said as she skipped next to Lin. Lin could only roll her eyes as she suppressed her smile. "Why did you say no?"

Lin immediately tensed up. "Are you happy I said no?"

"Do you want me to be honest or tell you the answer you want to hear?"

"Honesty."

"I'm glad."

"Spirits, Kya, you can't do this! You can't just show up wand expect me to drop everything for you!"

"Woah, woah, woah, Linny. Who said anything of the sort?"

"You did!" Lin yelled in frustration. "You don't want me and Tenzin to be happy together because you- you-"

"I, what? What about me, Lin?"

"Forget it! Spirits! My life is fucked!"

"Calm down, Lin. My... past feelings for you aren't the reason I don't want you guys to get married." 

Lin stared at her in disbelief with her arms crossed. She didn't mention how the addition of "past" struck her heart.

"Do you think you could ever truly make each other happy? Yes, Lin, you were my best friend. Yes, Lin, I may have slightly been in love with you when we were younger," Lin stiffened, "but he is my brother." Lin finally looked into Kya's eyes in realization. "He is my little brother and as much as I want you to be happy, I want him to be happy too. You want different things, you're completely incompatible. Your auras are-"

Lin groaned and rolled her eyes. "Here we go again."

"Lin, do you want kids?"

Lin was thrown off by her sudden question. "Do you want kids?" Lin sighed and shook her head. "Tenzin does. Tenzin really wants kids. Did you think that the topic just wouldn't come up in a conversation? Maybe he would change his mind. I mean, hey, he thought the same about you, right? I'm not saying this as an ex-whatever the hell this is between us. I'm saying this as his older sister. He deserves to be happy just as much as you do. You're looking for an excuse to not reject him because you're scared of what life without him is like. You're scared of feeling unstable and cold at night. You're scared of being alone. Tough shit, Lin!" Kya laughed. "We all are. We're all afraid of being alone, but you can't drag my brother into it. If you drag my brother down with you, when it ends, you're going to feel relieved but he will be heartbroken. So, yes, I'm glad you said no. If it wouldn't have ended here, it would have been in a few months, or even moments before the wedding."

"Why aren't you with him right now?"

"He has Bumi and my mom."

"And?"

"And who do you have Lin?" Kya asked in a way that infuriated LIn.

Lin stared at her with daggers. "You're an expert on relationships now? You don't know me as well as you think you do." It was then that she realized they were standing in front of her apartment.

Kya rolled her eyes and raised an eyebrow. "Did you not hear a word I just said?"

"What I know is that you know nothing about stability. You don't know what it's like to be in a relationship. How could you, when all you do is run?"

"I run?! You ran first! What was I supposed to do? Watch you and Tenzin make out and hope that you would get bored and crawl into my bed one night? I have a little more self-respect than that, thank you."

Lin said nothing as she stared at Kya. "Why did you say no, Lin?"

"Why can't you just leave me alone? Leave me alone just for tonight, please."

"I just can't."

"I need a fucking drink," Lin sighed as she unlocked the door of the complex. Kya stood at the door and Lin sighed. "Are you coming?" She heard footsteps behind her and then the door closed, so she knew Kya got the hint. They climbed the stairs to the third floor where Lin finally unlocked the door. She immediately went to the cabinets and grabbed a bottle of liquor. Kya was curiously walking around the apartment. The apartment was almost completely bare. There were no photos hung up, only the awards Lin had received from work. Most of the furniture was either black or green as it all complimented each other well despite its simplicity.

"Should I mention how you have no photos of him up?" Kya asked Lin as she sat on the couch.

"If you did, I would only respond that him and I know that we're together, so that's all that matters to me. I don't need to parade my relationship around," Lin said and sat next to Kya.

"No, but you should want to. Love makes you want to parade around. You want to tell everyone around you because you know how lucky you are to have found something so special." Lin only stared at Kya. She saw Kya's eyes flick to her lips. Lin turned around and poured herself and Kya a glass. "I will admit I'm still a bit tipsy from dinner."

Lin snickered at that. "You never were good at drinking."

Kya laughed radiantly. "I will have you know that I am much better than I was ten years ago. Also, I don't recall you doing so well either."

"I am much more contained than you."

Kya only shook her head and laughed. "Do you remember the time we got drunk and forgot we had a family dinner the next morning?"

"Sadly, I do. I remember the pain quite well."

"Everyone's faces!" Kya laughed. Lin tried not to laugh but thinking of the memory forced her to join Kya. "God, and we thought we fooled them all."

"I think I did pretty well, but you running out of the room to puke surely didn't help."

"You've got a point there," Kya laughed and finished her glass. She poured herself some more and did the same with Lin's glass. "Do you think we could ever be friends again? I know that you hate me, but-"

"I don't hate you," Lin interrupted her.

Kya turned to look at her. "You don't?"

Lin looked into her eyes. "No, I don't think I ever could. Maybe I envy you. You were able to get out of this suffocating city and I stayed. I'm still staying."

"You don't have to stay, Lin. You're 29. The world is at your toes and you've only seen a sliver of it. You could come with me and we could do it together."

"It would never work."

"Why not?"

Lin shrugged. "I have set goals. Those don't include traveling the world. I'm not going to be Chief if I run around for a year."

"Republic City is still going to be here when you come back. You do understand that, right? The city will be okay if you want to experience the world."

"I just can't." Lin said it in a way that Kya knew it was final.

"Is that why you said no?"

"Tenzin needs someone to help build the air nomads, not be a police chief. Even then, in every image I had of our future, I was never.... happy. Maybe I was foolish for throwing away a relationship for a silly emotion."

"It isn't a silly emotion. Happiness is what we do it all for. If you look at your future and you don't think you can be happy, then why do it? What is life for if not to be happy? Life is so limited and abstract. We can never truly know anything. But what we can do is be happy for the time we have left."

Lin was on the verge of tears but swiped them away. She snorted. "You're such a fucking hippie. What's next, you're going to make me smoke lily weed?"

Kya laughed. "Why? Do you want some?" Lin laughed but shook her head. "Lin, you shouldn't deny yourself love or happiness. That's what life is for."

"I'm not denying myself love."

Kya looked at her seriously and Lin looked at her. Her blue eyes were always so striking. Every time Lin saw the ocean she thought of Kya's eyes. She thought of how the ocean would always be subpar to Kya's eyes.

"What do you feel when you're with him?"

"What?"

"Does your heart race? Do you miss him every second you're not with him? Does even the mention of his name excite you?... When they touch you, do you get goosebumps? Do you watch their movements hoping that they might spare a glance your way? Because when you're in love, even a glance is better than nothing. Do you dream of them? Do you stay awake at night wondering if they're dreaming of you? Does your heart ache knowing that you might not know where they are or what they're doing?"

Lin was watching Kya as her heart was beating too fast. Kya's heart was beating just as rapidly, she could feel it. She didn't know whether her heart would escape her body first, or Kya's. Lin slowly moved forward. They were only a hair apart when her eyes flicked to Kya's lips as Kya's did the same. Eleven years.

Fuck it.

Lin leapt forward and connected her lips to Kya's. Kya gasped into her lips but quickly accepted the kiss as their lips moved against each others. Kya's tongue slipped into her mouth as Lin moaned. She felt Kya smirk as Kya continued to kiss her. All Lin could think about was how much warmer it was then she thought it would be. Kya's hands were holding her face as she caressed her cheek. Lin wanted to die just from that. 

Lin put her hands into Kya's hair and ran her finger through them. It was softer than she had imagined. She put her hand on Kya's stomach. She finally felt Kya's skin and how soft that was too. Everything felt so _different_ and new. Is this what love felt like? It wasn't enough. She started to raise her hand higher when Kya's hand stopped her.

"I- I'm sorry," Lin said and jumped back. They were at opposite ends of the couch now. 

Kya sighed. "That isn't the problem, Lin. I just need you to promise me something." Lin watched her in anxiety as well as anticipation. "Don't hate me in the morning. When this moment is over and reality hits, don't hate me. I can't handle that again."

Lin carefully crept forward and put her hand on Kya's face and tenderly rubbed it. She hesitantly put her lips on Kya's for a kiss that was slower and softer. "Are you sure that you want to?" Kya asked.

Lin nodded shyly. "Yes, more than anything."

Lin's eyes carefully opened in the morning. The sunlight from her windows was too bright as she groaned. Every part of her was soar as she stared at the ceiling, her eyes finally catching up to her brain in movements. She took a deep breath as she looked to her left. The spot was empty. She raised her head in hopes that her clothes were scattered around the room still because that would mean that she might be in the bathroom or some other part of the apartment. The floor was clean of her clothes, the only ones remaining being Lin's.

Her heart ached. She shouldn't have expected anything different. People never changed. No matter how many times you hoped or wished they would, no one ever changes. She would always run and Lin would always stay. No matter how many times Lin's heart yearned for her, it wouldn't be enough. 

If this was what love felt like, then she wanted no part of it. Love and happiness were supposed to be in sync with one another but all Lin could feel was the opposite of that end. Could it all be worth it at the end? She doubted it with the way her heart dragged her to the shower. She didn't have any thoughts as she wandered back into her bedroom. She furiously threw her dress into her hamper and got her uniform on. No matter who decided to leave or run, Lin would always be the one to help the city. She had a responsibility and even if no one else understood that, she did. 

She finished getting ready when she heard a knock on the door. Her heart jumped. _Maybe_ it was her. Maybe all of her worrying was for nothing and she could finally explore what it was like to feel somethin-

Tenzin stood at the opening of the door when she opened it. Of course it was him.

"Lin, I'm glad to have caught you before you left. Can we... talk?"

"Uh, sure."

"Right! So, I don't think it was right of me to spring the proposal onto you. We are both young and you are so ambitious in your career that the timing was so terribly poor. I should have done better to make it a wonderful experience and I believe I failed. The truth is that I believe you and I work incredibly well together. It's like no other relationship, which is why we fit so well. I would like to continue our relationship and hopefully redo last night at a better time. Before you interject, just know that I support you and I always will. I will always be here for you. That's love."

Lin stared at him in shock. He was here.... and he was apologizing _to her_. After all she had did wrong, he was still here. Everyone left, but he didn't. 

She slowly leaned forward and kissed him sweetly. He was surprised at the show of affection because it wasn't very typical of her. "Of course," she said. Tenzin continued to talk and she zoned him out when she saw a spot of blue in her peripheral vision. She slightly turned her head to see Kya standing by the opening of the stairs. She held flowers in her hand as well as a bad of fried dough and dried sweet potato, Lin's favorite foods.

Shit.

Kya said nothing as Lin saw tears slowly escaping the waterbender's eyes. Kya turned around and walked out without another glance backward. Lin watched her leave.

"Lin? Why are you looking over there?" Tenzin asked.

"Nothing, it was nothing."


	3. Your Sister's Splashed Out on the Bottle

"Are your eyes closed?"

"Yes," Kya responded with her eyes open. 

"You're a terrible liar."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"How would you know if my eyes are open are closed?"

Her father turned his head to look at her with a wide smile. "Because mine are open as well." She laughed at him and he joined as they watched the sunrise. "You're not usually awake this early." The two were sitting on the island at 5 in the morning as Aang was up for his meditations. 

The fifteen year old shrugged. "I didn't sleep very well last night. I'm sorry to interrupt your meditation." Her lack of sleep was obvious by the bags under her eyes. 

"Never apologize. Do you want me to find a remedy with Mom?"

"No, no, nothing like that. Don't you have your trip with Tenzin soon?" Kya sighed. She didn't mean for it to come out in such a negative tone. She knew that the air nation would be eliminated without Tenzin and that he was the only hope. She knew this. It didn't mean that it didn't bother her. How can it not when her father became so dedicated to her younger brother? She felt like a failure every time Tenzin used his bending. Hers would always be subpar to his.

"No, that isn't for another week. You can always join us if you would like."

"No, thanks. I wouldn't really fit in."

"You're my daughter. You are as apart of the air nation as I am."

"That isn't exactly true."

"Kya-"

"No, no, I understand, Dad. It's okay. I've accepted it. I'm never going to be as renowned as you or Tenzin. I just wish that... I don't know, I just wish I could see the things you guys do sometimes." She said it with finality, as though she had been thinking about it her whole life. Aang knew she had. He knew that it would always be different for Kya and Bumi, but that didn't mean he couldn't try. 

"Of course you can. I know that you may not want to go on a spiritual trip with Tenzin and I, but you are always welcomed to come. We could even go on a trip with just the two of us."

"Really?" Kya asked and smiled at her dad.

He nodded and smiled at her. "I don't ever want you to feel like you are less to me, do you understand? You are my daughter and the light of my life."

"Thanks, Dad. I just feel as though... I'm a small star in a galaxy. You and Tenzin and Mom and Bumi are these great planets, but I'm merely a speck."

"Sweetheart, you are the Sun to me and to everyone else around you. I don't know anyone as vivacious and loving as you. Is this why you were unable to sleep?"

"I just have a lot on my mind."

"Oh?" her dad asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing like that!" Kya explained as she furiously blushed.

"You can always talk to me about that stuff, sweetheart. I'm a cool dad."

Kya groaned. "You are definitely not a cool dad. Not to mention that saying that phrase makes you even less cool."

He laughed at her embarrassment. "Well, I'm always here for you to talk to."

She crossed her legs and put her arms on her knees, burying her face. "I, uh... I like this person."

Her father's eyes widened. "Do this person like you back?"

"I think so."

"Then you should confess to them. You never know until you try."

"It isn't that easy, Dad."

"Then what's the matter?"

"This person is scared because of who I am."

"Because of your parents?" Aang asked, horrified.

"No, not that! It's because... I'm a girl and she's... a girl."

"Oh... Oh! Well, do you think her family would be accepting of it? If not, you could always go on dates on the island! I know it may not be super romantic, but I could get everyone to leave for the night and it would just be the two of-" Aang was interrupted by his daughter suffocating him with a hug.

She was crying and buried herself more into his shoulder. "Thank you Dad."

"Of course, love," he said and held her closer. "You know that your mom and I love you more than anything in this world, right?" She nodded. He held her face and wiper her tears as she looked at him with puffy eyes. "Who you love will never be frowned upon in our family. If you are happy and you are loved, who cares about the rest of it? The air nomads are people of freedom. You may not be an Airbender but you are still an air nomad with every ounce of your soul. More than anyone I know, you are free.That makes me a proud father. Knowing that you can be confident in knowing who you love makes me a proud father. Do you think you like boys too, or...?' She shook her head and he hugged her again as she rested on his shoulder. "Good, boys are gross. None of them are good enough for my daughter." She laughed as her tears finally stopped and she wiped her eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"I'll probably tell Mom and the boys at dinner."

"They will be just as happy as I was for you."

She smiled adoringly at her father as he smiled back. "Wanna go swimming?"

All she could do was nod and then laugh as he jumped into the water, her day instantly becoming brighter.

"Kya, wait up!" Lin said as her and Tenzin struggled to run through the crowds. "Why is she walking so fast?" Lin asked Tenzin as they barely kept an eyesight of the older girl.

"She's probably running to her girlfriend."

"Her what?!"

"She didn't tell you?"

"She's dating one of the vendor's daughters here." Lin's heart dropped and she assumed it was because Kya was keeping secrets from her. 

They both saw Kya stop at one of the shops in the marketplace and they were finally able to catch up to her. "See? She's fine. Can we go to the shops I want to look at?"

"In a minute, Tenzin," Lin said as she watched their interaction.

"That's what you said last time and then we never got to go to my shops."

"Just go ahead and I'll come look for you in a few minutes."

"But I wanted to go with you!"

"Tenzin, I'll be there soon. Give me a minute," she grumbled.

"Fine," he groaned and walked away.

"This is a really good drawing," Kya said and pointed to a portrait of her father.

The man selling it smiled proudly. "Do you think so? I had to look at a bunch of different sketches to compile mine."

Kya gave her charming smile to the man and Lin rolled her eyes. "It's very accurate. Even down to the laugh lines."

"Have you ever met Avatar Aang?"

Kya laughed. "He's actually my father."

"Oh! I didn't know he had a daughter," the man said awkwardly. "I'm sorry! I just mean that his son joined the air forces while the other is an airbender."

"Right," Kya gulped. Lin watched as Kya's face fell. She quickly walked towards Kya and grabbed her hand, starring her to the outskirts of the market. They sat alone together and Lin still held Kya's hand as she couldn't keep her eyes off of the joined hands.

"Are you okay?"

Kya shrugged as she continued to stare at the ground. "Where's Tenzin?"

"He probably went to one of the book traders. Don't worry about him, we'll find him later. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Lin," Kya said and separated their hands, giving Lin a small smile. Lin instantly missed the warmth but gave her friend a smile. "I just want to be.... someone."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to be under my brothers' shadow anymore. What are you going to be when you grow up, Lin?"

"I'm going to join the police force and become the Chief."

"What's Tenzin going to do?"

"Become a master and restore the air nation."

"What am I going to do?"

Lin struggled to say something and Kya sighed. "You- You're going to become a master and become a great doctor."

"What if I don't want to do that?"

"But... But that's what you've trained for and..."

"Bending isn't everything, Lin. It isn't my whole world and it shouldn't be yours. I love healing people and I love my bending, but I don't want my life to revolve around it."

"But you can help people."

"And I will, but that doesn't mean I have to do it for eighty years." Lin looked up at Kya and Lin saw how serious her eyes were. "I want to enjoy life, ya know? It feels like if I stay here forever, I won't do that. I'll become a master, work in hospitals, and do that for my whole life."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"Of course not if that's what someone wants to do. I just don't think that that's my path. On the other hand, it feels like the only path I have in front of me."

"Then what are you going to do?"

Kya shrugged with a small smile and put her head on Lin's shoulder. Lin stopped breathing momentarily as Kya's hair fell on her back. "Maybe I don't need a plan. I'm only fifteen, why should my entire life be planned out?"

"I have a plan."

"What? To master earthebeunding then metalbending and become police chief? Maybe marry and Airbender on the way?" Lin pushed Kya away as Kya laughed. She blushed as Kya's laughter continued to ring in her ears. "It's okay, Linny! You can tell me."

"Don't call me that," Lin pouted as her face turned sour. Kya wore puppy eyes and looked at Lin, forcing her to uncross her arms. Lin tried looking away but Kya grabbed her face. She was at a loss of breath again as Kya's apologetic puppy eyes were now inches from her's.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me," Kya said.

Lin blinked a few times before coughing and pushing herself away from Kya. "Yeah, whatever."

"I'm just saying, though, if you do have a crush on him, you can tell me. What are friends for?"

"I don't, okay? So, just drop it," Lin said with finality.

"You don't?" Kya asked, confused.

"No," Lin said and shook her head.

Kya gave her a wide smile that only reminded Lin of why she didn't have a crush on Tenzin. "Okay. Come on, I want to look at the jewelry!" Kya grabbed Lin's arm and dragged her along with her.

"The jewelry or to meet someone here?"

Kya stopped walking and turned around with wide eyes. "Who told you?"

"Told me what?"

Kya laughed as though it was nothing. "Was it Tenzin?"

"Why wasn't it you?"

"Why? Are you jealous?" There was a way that Kya spoke that kept everyone tied around her finger. She spoke to you as though you were the most interesting person in the world. Little did Kya realize that she was actually the most interesting one. The realization of this was what gave her more confidence when she got older. But as a kid, there was an innocence in her demeanor because she was 14 and still the most charming person in the room.

"What?! No!"

Kya laughed again. The laugh that was like an angel singing. "Lin Beifong is jealous." She tapped Lin's nose and Lin swatted Kya's hand away.

"I'm. Not. Jealous."

"Prove it to yourself before you try and prove it to me."

"You're- You're!"

"I'm what?" Kya asked. Her arms were crossed as she tilted her head. Her mouth was drawn with a smirk that Lin wanted to wipe off. Her entire demeanor made Lin stop and gulp, taking a second to admire her.

"Infuriating."

"I'm glad. Now, let's go look at the jewelry," Kya said and grabbed Lin's hand again to drag her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lin asked. The sadness in the tone made Kya stop and look at her.

Kya rubbed Lin's hand with her thumb and Lin was surprised that she didn't want to cut off the girl's hand for the show of affection. "I'm sorry, Lin. I don't know, I just..." Kya looked up at Lin. "I was scared."

Lin scoffed. "You're never scared."

"I'm always scared. I didn't want you to look at me differently or hate me or-"

Lin squeezed Kya's hand. "I could never do that." Lin forced the girl to look at her. "You're my... best friend. No matter what, I will be by your side."

Kya smiled at her. "I'm sorry I was so stupid. I knew that you wouldn't react negatively. It's just... you."

"Me?"

"You," Kya said and gave her a sincere smile. Lin couldn't help but smile back at her. "I love you." Lin stood there in shock with her mouth agape. "Oh, come on, Lin! Love comes in many forms."

"You love me as a best friend?"

Lin saw a small falter in Kya's face. When Lin was about to ask her about it, she smiled and grabbed her hand. "Come on, Tenzin is probably looking for us." 

"What about your girlfriend?"

"Don't worry, I'll come back tomorrow. It's getting late anyway, so we should find the airhead. He'll probably be touching all the books inappropriately or something."

"Kya!" Lin laughed, covering her mouth. Kya bounced around Lin and laughed as they walked through the crowd.

"Welcome home, Bumi!" everyone shouted. He laughed and smiled at his family gathered in the outside of Air Temple Island where they had set up a gazebo. Katara was the first to run to her eldest as he squeezed his mom. Aang was next as he joined the hug and Tenzin hugged him from the outside. Kya knew that she was missing but she kept her gaze from a distance as she drank her water. She sat at the table as Uncle Sokka, Aunt Toph, Uncle Zuko, and Aunt Suki were the next ones to greet her older brother.

"Why aren't you going to him?"

"I'll go when everyone else isn't crowding him."

"That isn't like you," Lin added as she watched Kya.

"Yeah, well, I don't feel like me lately."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"Something's wrong. First, you were weird at the market earlier and now you're acting weird now.'

"I just... do you think they'll hold a party for me when I'm older?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Bumi is getting this party because he's back home and just got promoted in the Air Force. I'm proud of him, so proud. It makes me guilty to even think about this, but I don't think they would host a party for me."

"Kya, of course they will."

"They held a party when they realized Tenzin was an Airbender. I know that my bending is... nothing compared to his, but I want it to be something worth throwing a party over. God, I'm a horrible sister. My brothers are incredible and instead of bragging about them, I'm the selfish rebellious middle child seeking attention. How typical."

"Kya, I think you're incredible. So does everyone. You... illuminate the room as well as the world," Lin said and looked down at her hands awkwardly. Lin said it shyly and Kya knew it was difficult for her to say. Kya threw her arms around Lin and Lin patted her arm.

"Come on, little sis! You're hugging your friend instead of your favorite big brother who you haven't seen in a year?" Bumi said above them. Lin jumped back in shock while Kya looked up at him. She laughed and threw her arms around his neck next. Lin walked to Tenzin to let them have their reunion.

"I missed you, Boom," she said into his shoulder.

"I missed you too, kid," he taunted as they let go of her.

"Oh really?"

"Of course! Who else am I supposed to grab life by the balls with?"

Kya laughed and punched his shoulder. "Or make fun of Tenzin."

"Someone's got to do it."

"I completely agree. Can't let his ego grow too big."

"We're wonderful big siblings."

"The best," she nodded. "So, how's-"

"Bumi! Come tell them the story you told me earlier!" Aang yelled from a distance.

"I'll be right there, Dad!" Bumi yelled back. "I'll be back, do not fear. We'll finish this conversation in a minute, kid, okay?" She nodded sadly. "Don't miss me too much."

"I'll try my best," she said as he ran away. He ran to a crowd of adults that included their parents and some of the politicians of the city.

With that, she was alone. In a time where she would normally feel alive, she felt alone. She wanted to find Lin so she got up but immediately saw she was with Tenzin. Tenzin laughed at something she said and it struck a chord in her heart. She sat back down.

"Is it alright if I sit here?" an older man asked. Kya just nodded. "I'm Kazu, I'm a delegate from the Earth Nation."

"I'm Kya."

"Who are you related to hear?"

Kya took a deep breath as her nostrils were about to release fire. "I'm Katara and Aang's daughter."

"Oh! Are you a non-bender like Bumi?"

"No, I'm a water bender."

"You must work closely with your mom a lot, then."

"Yeah, she is my master," Kya said as she played with her cup, clearly bored.

"Are you going to become a healer?"

She rolled her eyes internally. "Nope."

"Oh! Then what?"

"No idea."

"How old are you?"

"Fifteen."

"You're almost an adult! It's time to get thinking about what you want to do with your life."

"Yeah, probably."

"If you want, I can always refer you to a-"

"I'm actually pretty tired. It was nice meeting you, though," Kya said and got up. She walked to the edge of the island where she brought out the lilyweed from her pocket. She smoked it as she watched the stars and the ocean. The noise from the party was loud behind her but she zoned everything out as she was finally getting some relief from the emptiness in her stomach.

"Kya, there you are," Lin said and sat next to her.

"Hi, Linny."

"Are you smoking lilyweed?! Kya, that's illegal!" Kya shrugged, keeping her eyes on the ocean. Lin looked at her concerned because Kya would normally make some witty comment or tease Lin to make her embarrassed. "Your mom was looking for you."

"For what?"

"I don't know, she just mentioned a family toast I think."

"No thanks."

"Kya, what's wrong? It's more than you're telling me." Kya looked to her left and how Lin's hair was reflected by the moon. Her green eyes were as beautiful as ever. Kya leaned forward and kissed Lin on the cheek. Lin took a sharp breath when Kya's lips touched her cheek and every hair on her body shot up.

Kya but a bright smiled. "It's nothing, I'm sorry to worry you. Although it is a cute look on you."

"Kya!" Lin grumbled and got up.

Kya only laughed more when Lin started stomping away. Kya ran to catch up with her as she looped their arms together to go back to the party.

"Hi Mura," Kya sang as she skipped to the antiques vendor. The market in Republic City was slow for a Sunday evening as most people were gathered for the opening of the new hospital and the sun was beginning to set. 

"Hello Kya," the girl said and tucked her hair behind her ear shyly. Mura was a short fifteen year-old with short-black hair that went just past her shoulders. Her tanned skin complimented her brow eyes as she stood a couple inches above Kya. Her shy personality was evened out with Kya's outgoing one.

"I'm sorry for not coming yesterday, I got caught up with the airfart," she said and Mura laughed.

"That's alright, it was busy yesterday, so I don't think I would have been able to escape. It's slow now, would you like to go on a walk?"

Kya smiled. "I'd love to."

"Mom, I'll be back," Mura told her mother.

"Have fun! Don't be gone too long!" her mother smiled at her and Mura smiled as she walked out of the shop to stand next to Kya.

The two girls walked through the city toward the park. "Are your parents at the opening of the hospital?"

"Yeah, they wanted me to go but I wanted to see you." Mura blushed and Kya smiled. "Let's stop here!" Kya bounced as they sat at the edge of the pond in the park. 

"They're adorable," Mura said as they both watched the turtleducks swim through the water.

"They are," Kya smiled as she stared at the pond. She thought about how Lin would feed a turtleduck every time she saw one. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Hmm?" Mura asked as she was taken out of her trance of watching the pond.

"What job do you want to have when you're older?"

"I'm going to take over my parent's shop."

"And sell antiques?"

"I like them. I was raised with them, so who better? I know the antiques in our shop better than anyone else. I enjoy finding more and knowing that other people like them as much as I do."

Kya nodded and crossed her legs, placing her head on her hands. "Everyone has it figured it out," she said to herself. 

"Are you okay? You're quiet today."

Kya looked at her and smiled. "I'm sorry, I just have been thinking a lot."

"That's a bad sign."

Kya rolled her eyes and Mura smiled. "I just don't know what I want with my life."

"What do your parents want?"

"For me to become a healer."

"My parents want me to take over the shop, marry a man, and have children so that they can continue the cycle."

"Is that what you want?"

Mura shrugs as though it was nothing. "I want the shop part. I am not very keen on the man part." Kya laughed. "I've always wanted a simple life."

Kya nodded. She understood that. She always understood people and their motivations and their wants, but she was never good with her own. "I just want the most I can get out of life."

Mura sighed in understanding. "When will you leave?"

Kya turned with wide eyes and Mura gave her a knowing look. "I'm... not sure. Maybe in one year, maybe in three."

"I really like you."

"I like you too."

"I just don't want this to hurt more than I know it will."

"Do you mean...?"

Mura sighed. "My parents want start setting me up on dates."

"Don't go on them. You can come with me! We can travel together!" Kya said excitedly and grabbed Mura's hand.

Mura gave her a soft smile and caressed Kya's face with her other hand. "I can't."

"Why not?! Don't you want to see the world? We shouldn't be tied down here forever!"

"Kya, I'm not being tied down. I'm tying myself down. My parents are old and I'm their only child, but I don't feel like I have to stay here. I want to stay here. I can discover the world at any age, why rush it? I want to be with my parents while I can. That means staying here."

"They want to force you into a marriage!"

"They want to help me find love!"

"But you already have!" Kya was crying now as she stared at the other girl.

"It isn't that easy."

"Not if you make it harder than it has to be."

"Your parents are very open-minded and young, but my parents aren't. I'll come out eventually, but not until I'm ready. They just want to help me... even if it's in the wrong way."

"You're just going to go on these dates when you know that you can't love them?"

"You never know! Maybe-"

"I do know! You know! It won't work!" Kya sighed. "I'm not saying that you're not bisexual because you could be and it's possible. I just... you've told me before how you don't look at boys that way."

"Maybe I just haven't met the right one," she sighed. The two girls sat next to each other, staring at the pond once again. Kya's tears silently left her eyes.

"This is it, huh?"

"It doesn't have to be, Kya. We can..."

"Hide? I don't want to do that. I want to openly hold your hand and go on dates. I don't want to watch you go on dates with someone else."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I," Kya gulped. Kya got up before the girl could say anything else and walked away.

She never looked back as she walked through the city. She didn't really know where she was going. She had no destination in mind. All she could feel was her heart beating so loudly in pain. It just seemed as though no matter what she did, she was never good enough. She would always be the second choice. Her family. Her love life. It was all the same. 

"Hey!" a boy caught up with her and she instantly tensed up. "Sorry if I freaked you out." The boy was probably her age. "It's just my friend is too shy but she thinks you're really cute. We're going to our other friend's party right now if you want to come!" _She_. Kya turned around to see a girl with long light brown hair and tanned skin. 

Kya smiled brightly. "I'd love to."

"Really, kid?" Toph asked as Kya walked out of the police station. 

"I'm sorry, okay? They all yelled that the police were coming and I didn't run fast enough." Toph sighed as she stopped Kya in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Kya, I shouldn't have had to pick you up from the police station! You're fifteen! You shouldn't have been drinking in the first place! I got a call that my niece was arrested! How do you think that makes me feel?" Kya stayed silent and looked at her shoes in shame. "I never imagined I would have to bail you out of jail, but here we are."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't good enough! What were you thinking? Did you even know anyone there? Because none of them showed up for you! There were illegal drugs at that party, Kya. You were drinking. You're fifteen." Toph continued to walk and Kya followed her.

"Where are we going?"

"My place."

"We aren't going to the island?"

"Do you want to?"

"No, not really."

"Well then that's settled."

"Do my parents know?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell them?"

"With the amount of questions you're asking me you're making me wish I called your parents instead of coming here myself. You're lucky that they let you off with a warning because of who your parents and I are." Kya rolled her eyes. "No, don't do that. No matter who we are, you are loved so get over the fact that we got you out of jail. You're lucky. Don't act otherwise. Kya, what you did was stupid and dangerous."

"I know."

"Don't do that to me ever again."

"Okay."

They walked into Toph's apartment where Lin was sitting on the couch. "Kya," she breathed out. Kya looked down as she knew how terrible and torn up she looked from the party.

"Kya, call your parents and tell them you're staying here for the night. Then take a shower and drink water. After that, you're going to bed. Understood?" Toph said sternly.

"Yes, Aunt Toph."

"Good. Lin, you and Kya will be sharing a bed tonight. Make sure she doesn't leave."

"Yes, Chief."

"Goodnight, girls."

"Goodnight," they said at the same time. Toph left the two girls in the living room as she went into her own bedroom.

Lin looked at Kya and Kya looked back before looking down. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Like what?"

"I look terrible."

"You never look terrible."

Kya laughed. "You always know what to say, don't you?"

"I... I never know."

Kya nodded and walked to the phone. She dialed her parent's number. "Hey, Mom."

"Kya?"

"Yep."

"Where are you? We've been worried sick!"

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry. I thought it was earlier in the day than it actually was and I lost track of time at the market. I didn't mean to make you guys so worried, I'm sorry."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm at Aunt Toph's. I'm just going to stay here for the night."

Katara sighed. "Okay. As long as you're safe." Kya wanted to cry. "We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay? I love you."

"I love you too, Mom." She hung up and Lin was watching her as Kya walked into the bathroom. She started the shower so that Lin wouldn't hear her cry. When it came to actually taking the shower, she took a long time as she finally felt sober.

She walked out in her towel into Lin's room where Lin sat on the bed, playing with a metal and forming it into different figures. "Hey, do you have any pajamas I can borrow?"

Lin looked up and blushed at the sight of Kya's wet skin. "Uh, y-ye-yeah." She opened her drawers and handed Kya a green shirt and black exercise shorts. 

"Thanks," Kya said and went into the bathroom to change. When she went back the lights were off and Lin had already claimed her usual side of the bed. Her back was to Kya. Kya sighed and got into the bed.

"What happened?" Lin asked after a few moments of silence. 

"My girlfriend and I broke up."

"Are you okay?"

"Then I went to a party with a bunch of strangers and got drunk. The cops came and they arrested me. Your mom got me out."

"You could've been hurt, Kya!"

"I know, I know. I wasn't thinking."

"Why..."

"Why what, Lin?" Kya asked and turned to face Lin.

"Why did you guys break up?"

"We just wanted different things. She wasn't ready to come out yet. I understand that. It's a terrifying thought."

"What is?"

"That no one will accept you."

Lin turned to face Kya as their bodies were parallel from one another's. "It is."

Kya nodded with a small smile. A strand of Lin's hair fell from onto her forehead and Kya picked it up. She twisted it in her finger as Lin's eyes watched her carefully. "You should wear your curls more often."

Lin shook her head. "They're just a nuisance and get in the way."

"I like them," Kya said and finally tucked the strand of hair behind Lin's ear. Lin was breathing heavily as she lunged forward. The instant her lips connected with Kya's all Kya felt was confusion. And then realization. It was a quick kiss and Lin moved her head back when Kya didn't kiss back. 

"I shouldn't have done that," Lin said and moved to get up. Kya grabbed Lin's arm and pulled her back down. Lin was breathing heavily again and Kya moved her face slowly toward Lin's. Lin gulped as Kya grabbed her face and sweetly kissed her. Kya's head was full of thoughts, both negative and positive. This is her best friend. She shouldn't be doing this. They disconnected again and Lin stared at her in awe.

"Lin," Kya said and grabbed her face, "I don't think we should..."

"What? You just- We just-"

"You're two years younger than me and-"

"That's the age difference of your parents!"

"Yes, but they're adults now. I'm going to be an adult in three years and I don't start this until we're both of a good age."

"What? No, Kya! That't-!"

Kya sighed. "You know I'm right. You're still young."

"Two years younger than you," Lin grumbled. 

That put a smile on Kya's face. "It's only five to six years."

"Four years and three months."

"My point is that we are at different stages in our lives."

"I know," Lin sighed and positioned her body to stare at the ceiling. "Will you... Will you wait for me?"

Kya nodded and Lin smiled. "Goodnight, Lin."

"Goodnight, Kya."

"Happy Birthday, Lin!" they all yelled. Her family was gathered in her mom's apartment as she walked in and they all jumped from behind the couch to surprise her. She awkwardly smiled at the assemblage of people. Tenzin smiled brightly next to her as he was the one that brought her there.

"Thank you all," she said modestly. Her eyes searched the crowd when she saw Kya next to Katara. Her smile instantly grew as Kya's grew in response. She was disappointed when she didn't see Suyin, but she expected it. She didn't know whether or not she was disappointed or happy with the lack of her sister there. 

Lin politely thanked everyone in the room, making her rounds. She was almost to Kya when Tenzin stopped her. "Hello, Lin."

"Hi Tenzin" she said, confused by the approach.

"I just wanted to know if we could get a possibly get a moment alone together sometime tonight?"

"Sure."

"Really? I mean, yes, wonderful. That sounds great. I will just..."

Lin rolled her eyes and walked away. She approached Kya who stood behind the couch, arms crossed waiting for her. "Hi Kya," Lin smiled.

"Happy Birthday, Linny," Kya said and wrapped Kya in a massive hug. Lin hesitated before hugging the other girl back. She breathed in Kya's scent and they hugged a little too long before they separated.

"Your face," Kya said and traced Lin's new scars. 

Lin looked down in shame. "Uh... yeah." Kya lifted Lin's face and gave her a smile. "I didn't know you were in town."

"It wouldn't be much of a surprise if I told you."

"That's... true."

Kya laughed and Lin reminisced on how much she missed her laugh. And her smile. She thought about it in her dreams but they could never replicate the happiness radiated from her face. 

"It's so good to see you, Lin."

"When did you get back?"

"Last night."

"Why did you come?"

"For your birthday."

Lin blushed and looked away to hide the red in her cheeks. "Really?"

"Of course. It's not everyday that you turn nineteen."

"I'm happy you're here."

"So am I," Kya said and watched Lin adoringly. "Come on, police stud, let's eat."

The two sat at the long table where their family began to eat. Lin and Kya sat next to each other with Tenzin on Lin's other side and Sokka on Kya's other side. Tenzin was animatedly talking to Lin while Kya was telling a story to Sokka and Aang. Kya put her foot on Lin's and started raising it higher when Lin choked on her food. 

"And then I finally visited the Fire Nation and stayed with Uncle Zuko and Izumi for a few months. I was in and out of the palace, though. I got Izumi to escape to the beach with me one time. Someone recognized her as the future firebird and her face was so red because she was wearing just a bikini. Spirits I don't think I've ever seen someone's face get that red!" Kya laughed as Sokka and Aang joined her.

"If anyone can get our 'Zumi to go to the beach it's you, Kya," Sokka said. 

"I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult, Uncle Sokka."

"I haven't decided yet," he said and Kya laughed.

Lin was still sitting there in shock at how Kya's leg had touched hers. 

"Lin, are you listening?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course, I just... zoned out." Kya snorted next to her. Lin turned to look at her and Kya winked at her so Lin responded by giving her a stern look and shaking her head. Kya only raised her eyebrow and smiled more.

"So, Lin, thought about any boys recently?" Sokka asked. Kya's face as well as Lin's and Tenzin's all turned red.

"I, um...," Lin said awkwardly.

"Leave her alone, Sokka. She's too busy for a relationship with all of her work. She's quickly rising the ranks, she doesn't need a boyfriend," Aang said.

"We all found our life partners when we were teenagers. Well, you were twelve Aang, but my point remains! Life can fly by in an instant and before you know it, love has passed you up."

"She isn't that old, Sokka."

"Well, she's about that age, I'm just saying! I'd like to attend one of their weddings before I die and Bumi's too much of a child, Izumi's becoming the firelord, and Kya's running around the world and breaking hearts.' Kya shrugged and nodded.

"So Lin's your only hope?"

"Lin, I happen to know a wonderful person that you have known since childhood that would love to have something more."

"Sokka!" Aang groaned. Lin choked on her food and began coughing.

"I think it's cake time!" Kya said and got up. Katara followed her into the kitchen. They came back holding a cake with candles. Aang flicked his hands and the candles were lit up as they all sang to her. She watched Kya as Kya watched her while singing. She blew out the candles then everyone applauded. 

"You're still infuriating," Lin said and bit into her piece of cake.

"Glad to hear it," Kya said flirtatiously. 

"You haven't changed one bit."

"Do you want me to change?"

"Not at all."

"Good."

"You're twenty-one and still less responsible than you were as a fifteen-year-old."

"What can I say? I like to not disappoint."

Lin laughed when she felt a tap on her shoulder. "Lin, can I see you in your room for a second?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," she said and got up. "I'll be right back," she told Kya. 

"You better be."

Lin walked into her room and Tenzin closed the door. "Are you alright, Tenzin? You're being rather cryptic."

"I'm okay. Very okay, in fact! I just wanted to give you your birthday present." He quickly passed her a box wrapped in paper which she reluctantly took. She opened it and revealed a book. "It's a book on earth bending techniques mixed with air bending techniques!"

"Oh, thanks."

"Do you like it?"

"Of course I do. Thank you, Tenzin."

He nodded and when she was about to get up he put his hand on her arm. "There's something else. In fact, I have something to tell you which I have wanted to tell you for a long time."

"What is it?"

He played with his hands for a few seconds before gaining his courage. "I'm in love with you! The truth is that I have had feelings for you ever since we were children and growing up with you has only strengthened my feelings! I think you and I are meant to be together, truly. We even each other out well and we will be something great together. You will become the police chief and I will restore the air nation. I think we should do it with one another, we can help each other."

Lin sat on her bed in shock. She stared at Tenzin with her eyes wide open as he stared at her in hope. "I know that you're not one for feelings or affection, but-"

There was a knock on the door. Lin wanted to kiss whoever was at the door in gratitude. Katara opened the door. So, maybe kiss was a bit too strong.

"Hey, you guys, some of the older people are leaving and I wanted to make sure you guys got a chance to say bye," she said. Lin smiled at her and nodded. 

"We'll be right there," Lin said and the door was closed again. "We should go."

"Lin, I will always be here for you. I want you to know that. Being together would mean the knowledge that someone is always on your side. Just think about it, okay?"

Lin nodded as they both walked out. They said their goodbyes and Lin thanked everyone for coming. She saw Kya talking animatedly to Aang as they stood by the door. Instant dread filled Lin at the thought that Kya might leave. She saw Kya kiss her dad's cheek as he walked out.

"Well, that was fun, but this has been too much interaction for me. Don't stay out too late," Toph grumbled and retreated to her room. Lin, Tenzin, and Kya were left in there.

"Kya, I thought you were going to go home with Mom and Dad," Tenzin said to his older sister.

"I was going to say the same thing."

Lin looked back and forth anxiously. "Well, you're only in town for a few more days, so I'll give you guys some time. I'll talk to you later, Lin?"

Lin nodded as Tenzin left. "A few days?" Lin asked Kya.

Kya sighed. "I'm not sure yet, Lin."

"Right," Lin said stiffly.

"Can we go for a walk or something?" Lin stood there. "Please, Lin?"

Lin walked forward and opened the door as Kya followed her. They walked side by side as the moon shined brightly above them. "What happened with Tenzin?"

"Nothing, he just... gave me my birthday gift."

"Oh, that reminds me! I have your gift!"

"You got me a gift?" Lin asked.

"Of course I did," Kya said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She fished through her pocket and pulled out a small gift. "Here."

Lin took it and unwrapped the tight green bow. Lin noticed how nicely it was wrapped. She neatly tore the paper off and opened a small box with a bracelet. 

"A bracelet?"

"I found it in the Earth Nation and it reminded me of you. It's engraved with badger moles and different phrases. It's made out of unobtanium, the-"

"Rarest metal," Lin finished for her. She observed the bracelet in awe.

"I know bracelets aren't your favorite things but I figured you could metal bend on it because I know how much you like to play with metals."

"Thank you, Kya," Lin said sincerely and gave a small smile to Kya.

"Do you like it?"

"I do. I really do."

Kya smiled brighter. "I'm so glad."

"Tell me about your time away."

"Well, first I went to the Earth Nation and found this group of travelers. They took me to each of the corners-"

"Wait, have you had the bracelet that long?"

"Yeah, I got it at the beginning and I've been carrying it with me ever since." Lin's usual neutral face quirked at the corners. "What is it? Why are you smiling?"

"Nothing, you just thought of me."

Kya rolled her eyes. "I often do." Lin's smile only remained and Kya didn't think as she leaned forward and kissed Lin. Lin kissed her back immediately and grabbed her cheek with the other hand around her neck. Kya separated from her and Lin blushed. "I've wanted to do that for a long time."

"So have I," Lin smiled. They continued to walk through the streets as they caught each other back with their lives. Kya spoke about her travels as Lin told her about the police force.

"What happened with Suyin?" Kya asked.

"I, uh, caught her hanging out with some criminals and Suyin told me it was none of my business. I tried stopping her, but she lashed out and well..." she said and pointed to her scars. 

"Why did you stop her?"

"I couldn't let her waste her life. She has potential to be something great and I don't want her to waste it on..."

"Traveling the world?"

"That isn't what I was going to say!"

"You didn't need to, Lin. I know you don't agree with my choices, but they are mine to make."

"That's not what I was going to say! Are you saying that you agree with what Suyin did?"

Kya grabbed Lin's face and traced the scars again. "Of course not, Lin. I can't believe she hurt you and I'm sorry I wasn't here to help."

"But?"

"But I think she's a reactionary child and I know a thing or two about those."

"She embarrassed me. Humiliated me."

"Scars are kinda hot though."

"Kya!" Lin exclaimed and swatted Kya's hand away. Kya only laughed.

Once she stopped laughing, her face turned more serious. "I'm sorry she hurt you. You didn't deserve that. I just think you need to consider it from her view as well, Lin."

"From her view?" Lin scoffed. "I'm going to have these for the rest of my life."

"I'm not defending her! I just know what it's like to be in the shadow of a sibling who will always be considered greater than you. I just don't want you to hate her for her actions. She's Suyin, your little sister. I know you know that she's sorry."

"If she was sorry then she would tell me." Kya sighed. "Now I'm stuck with these ugly scars."

"I don't think they're ugly."

"You don't?" Lin asked and looked up at Kya. Kya was staring at her with an honest expression and shook her head.

"I think you're beautiful. Whether it be in your police uniform that is glued to your body or a stiff dress that you hate, I think you're beautiful." 

Lin swallowed and kept her eyes on Kya. "Do you... want to get out of here?"

Kya's eyes widened as she felt her heart race. "As in...?

"Yes."

"At your place?"

"God, no. My mother has the ears of a hawk and my room is only two hundred feet from hers."

Kya laughed nervously. "Are you sure you want to?"

Lin rolled her eyes. "Kya, I'm an adult and I'm capable of my own decisions. Come on."

Kya smiled radiantly and put her arm around Lin's neck casually. "Let's go, Linny," she whispered in her ear. Lin shivered and gulped. 

Lin led them through the street where she stopped at an inn. The inn was a small one close to the the main park of Republic City. They walked in and Lin stepped forward. "Can I get a room?" 

The lady sitting at the main desk put her newspaper down and looked up. She looked them up and down before opening her book. "For how many beds?"

Lin's eyes widened. "Um, one- no, two- well-"

"One will be perfect, thank you," Kya said and put her hand around Lin's hip.

"Are you two friends?" the lady asked.

"That's none of your business," Lin remarked.

"Sisters, actually," Lin almost choked right there, "My dear sister has been gone to war and we think a night with just the two of us will bring us back to old times."

"You two don't look like sisters."

"Different dads," Kya shrugged. Lin stood there awkwardly as she felt Kya's hand burn through her hip. As much as she wanted to think of laughing at Kya's joke, she didn't have the focus with how centered her mind was on Kya's hand. 

"Payment?"

Lin was brought back by reality and handed over a large amount of yuans. "Keep the change!" she yelled as Kya pulled her through the hall.

Once they were out of the innkeeper's sight, Kya pushed Lin against the wall and kissed her. Lin groaned at the force and kissed her back before realizing they were in public. 

"Not here," Lin said and Kya nodded as she let go. They searched for their room before finally finding it. They both went in and Kya flopped on the bed. Lin chose to sit on the chair as she took off her shoes and then her coat.

"God, this bed is comfortable."

"Not used to sleeping on a bed?"

Kya laughed. "I'm not actually, I usually slept in a sleeping bag or even just a blanket." She patted the spot next to her. "Come lay next to me." Lin hesitated before sitting down on the bed. Kya pulled her onto her back so that they were both laying on their backs. Lin couldn't help but laugh.

"I thought about you a lot while I was gone."

"I thought about you everyday."

"Everyday?" 

Lin nodded. "Every time I got a letter I wondered if my next one would reach you or if you would forget about me."

"I could never do that." 

"Things are so much different than from when we were kids and I did not want to be optimistic in case I ended up hurt."

"I would never hurt you. You have always been the most important person to me."

"Did you, uh, keep your promise?"

Kya's heart dropped. "Lin..."

"You didn't, did you?"

"Lin, it isn't that simple."

Lin got up and clenched her fists. "Yes, it is! It's a yes or a no!"

"Lin, I was gone and I-"

Lin snorted. "I guess I don't need to hear the answer, do I? I already know."

"Lin, please, just hear me out!"

"Kya, I asked for one thing! One thing that would give me hope while we both waited! You promised me!"

"It was five years ago! I was fifteen!"

"You promised me!"

"I'm sorry, Lin, please," Kya reached for Lin's hand but Lin backed away. "I have never had feelings for anyone. It was all nothing, okay? I thought of you everyday."

Lin looked at her with sorrow. "All I did was ask for you to stick with me emotionally, even if you weren't geographically here."

"Lin, you were thirteen, about to be fourteen. You couldn't expect me to-"

"To not go after anyone for a few years?! Apparently I couldn't. Spirits, Kya! I just asked you to stand by me!"

"And I have! I always have! I have had feelings for you and you only."

"How can I know that that's true?"

"Just trust me."

"I-I already tried to."

"Stop looking for a reason for this not to work."

"You already gave me one! You're always going to be with someone better halfway across the ocean while I'm here!"

"I couldn't stay here and you know that! I was being suffocated and I needed to be independent for once. I was in the shadow-"

"Everyone is in someone else's shadow, Kya, and everyone has problems. We don't all get to run away from them."

"I wasn't running away! I knew you were angry with me for leaving, but you just wouldn't tell me! Is it so hard for you to open up to me?"

"I'm not going to change for you. I'm sorry that I matured at a young age and that I'm cold-"

"You're not cold and I don't want you to change. Don't project your own insecurities onto this, because you know as well as I do that I have never wanted you to change."

"It doesn't feel like it sometimes."

"So that's it? We aren't going to try this?"

"I'm sorry that all you're focused on is sex."

"It isn't the sex! It's the relationship! I want to be in a relationship with you, Lin Beifong. How many times do I need to shout it from a rooftop for it to get through to your thick skull?"

"The women you slept with, did they really mean nothing?"

"Yes."

"Did it mean nothing to them?"

"What?"

"Did they want more from you?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I don't want to be another checkpoint off of your bucket list."

Lin stood there in shock. "That's what you think of me?"

"I should go."

"No, don't. I'll go first, that seems to be what you think of me, anyway." Kya walked past Lin and Lin felt her world stop spinning.

"Kya." Kya stopped by the door and turned around with her hand on the door. She looked for something further, but when Lin said nothing, she sighed and walked out.

"Bumi?!" Kya yelled. The club behind her was raging on as the music was loud enough to make their eardrums bleed. 

"Kya!!" he yelled and hugged his sister.

"Hi, Boom!" she yelled over the music and jumped into his arms. He let go of her and inspected her. They hadn't seen each other in two years and she clearly looked different. Her hair was longer and she looked thinner. 

"What are you doing here?"

"I just got here a few days ago! My friend is getting married!"

"Well that's just abso-fucking-lutely great!"

"Isn't it?!" she laughed. "Are you drunk?" He put a finger to his lip as though it was a secret and nodded. "I am too!" she laughed out.

"How many drinks have you had?"

She put her hands out and started ticking her fingers off before it went past ten and she gave up. "There's a reason I didn't stay in school."

"Ha!"

"Wait, what are you doing here?!"

"I'm deployed here for the next month!"

"What are the odds!"

"I know!"

"Kya, I got you-" a girl started to say before Bumi whistled.

"Who are you, my lady? And where have you been all my life?" he bowed on one knee and grabbed her hand to kiss it. The girl held two drinks in her hand and gave one to Kya while giving her a confused expression.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Your future husband," he winked. Kya snorted and the girl just shook her head.

"This is my dear brother, Bumi. Bumi, this is my dear friend Ty- No, Te- Teiya! Teiya!" Teiya rolled her eyes. "Teiya and I became _very_ good friends last night and the night before."

"Hey-o!" Bumi yelled and high-five his sister.

"Kya, you're wasted, let's go," Teiya said.

"I am not wasted! I am enjoying all life has to offer! I said I would do that and now it's what I'm doing, right, Bumi?"

"Right!" he yelled and saluted. "Is she your girlfriend?"

Kya snorted. "Good one, Bumi."

"Wow, thanks, Kya," Teiya sighed. "You're drinking yourself to death."

"Not right," Bumi said and looked at his sister concerned.

"I am not! Look!" Kya said. She raised her arms and walked in a straight line. "See?"

"That was good," Bumi commented.

"I am just enjoying the night with my brother who I have always admired."

"Really?"

"God, no."

"Good, I was going to be concerned for you."

"Let's go, Kya," Teiya said and grabbed her arm. "It was nice meeting you, Bumi."

"And to you my dear fair maiden," he said and curtsied. He made a fan with his hand and mouthed "hot" to Kya. She winked back. "Don't have too much fun tonight!"

Teiya dragged Kya through the exit and they walked to Teiya's house. "Are you feeling better?" Teiya asked as she opened the door and lit the candles. 

Kya was different from the past nine years. She had seen the world four times over and still never felt the same satisfaction she did the first time she travelled. She held onto the hope that she would find something that made her feel the same adrenaline she did as a twenty-one year old. If she could find that, maybe she could find a way to be happy again. A way to forget about a green-eyed metalbender.

"Slightly," Lin said and flopped on Teiya's couch. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For making it seem like it would be a terrible to date you."

"Would it be?" Teiya asked sadly. She sat at the opposite end of the couch and held her face in a bitter face.

"You know that isn't it."

"Then what is it?"

"I just... can't."

"Kya, I like you. I really like you."

"When we got involved, you agreed no strings attached."

"Yeah, well my string got attached," Teiya sighed.

"I just can't, Teiya. I'm sorry."

"Why not? Is there someone else?" Kya looked up at the other woman before looking down with a sour expression.

"There's no one."

"You're thirty-years-old and still acting like you're twenty-one. The only time I see you smile is when you're partying and thirty drinks in. Is there anything else you even enjoy?"

"I like sight seeing and meeting people," Kya offered. 

"Well, that's something. Why are you so afraid of relationships?"

"I'm not afraid of relationships. I just..."

"Please, tell me," Teiya pleaded and looked into Kya's eyes. 

Kya only saw the sadness and need in Teiya's eyes and nodded. "I, uh... have this childhood friend. We were raised like family. I've been in love with her since I was a kid."

"Why aren't you with her?"

"She's with my brother," Kya said bitterly. 

"Seriously?" Teiya laughed.

"Shut up. Yes, she's with my brother. We had a thing but then I disappointed her and then she ran into my brother's arms." Teiya only continued to laugh and Kya laughed with her as she started to sober up.

"Why haven't you gotten over her?"

"She isn't someone to get over. I think that no matter who I'm with, platonic or otherwise, I always instinctively compare them to her and it just..."

"Never beats the real thing."

"Exactly. I think it would be easier to get over her if I didn't know that we belong together. I have been convinced of this for so long that imaging a life without her is just a life worth living."

"No wonder you're always drunk."

Kya shrugged. "It's what I do best: disappoint people and drink."

"I don't think that's true. What makes her so special?"

"I like the way she sees the world. I see it as an adventure with joy and love and she sees it as a mountain in which she has to overcome each obstacle until she finally reaches the peak. In the end, they aren't so different. We both just want to do what we can while we can. The way she smiles and grumbles when she pretends not to like my teasing. The way her cheeks turn red when I catch her staring. Her curly hair that she fails to tame. The way she looks at me."

"Is she worth all of the pain?"

"She's worth all of the happiness I felt when I was younger. Even if we never got together again, I could be happy knowing I loved someone so completely. Everyone considers her this dark person, but I know that she's just scared."

"Is that why you still cling onto hope?"

Kya nodded. "At the end of the day, I believe I still knew her better than anyone else."

"Glad to finally know why I would be such a terrible person to date."

"That is not what I said!"

Teiya laughed. "Relax. It's okay. I want you to be happy."

"You're a really good friend."

"Nice emphasis on friend."

"I did not emphasize it!" Kya said and groaned.

"The world is just not spinning for you, anymore, huh?"

"Nope."

"Maybe that will change. She might run into your arms one of these days."

"That is a 1 out of 1,000 chance."


	4. So You Could Sit There In This Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update! The next update will definitely be coming sooner than this one did :)

Kya left without a word to Lin. Lin didn't expect anything less. How could she after what she had done?

Lin found that she could split everything in her life in two: before and after Kya. Before her and Kya had had sex, she found that she could fake her happiness easily. Afterwards, this was not the same. 

Bumi said that Kya left the next evening, which was right after she walked back into Lin's apartment building. Bumi left a couple of days after while Katara left a week after. Once they were gone, it was Lin and Tenzin alone, again. Nothing changed. If anything, Tenzin had been more active in their relationship. He planned more dates for the two of them and spent more time in Republic City for her. Lin had become withdrawn. All she could think about was Kya. Every time she walked around her apartment, she could only see Kya and what the two had done around the apartment. This only caused Lin to become more involved in her work. 

Lin worked ten hours a week six days a week. Even on the day she was required to have off, she would sometimes work on her cases off the clock or go to the gym. She found that she couldn't be left alone with her thoughts. 

She tried having a day off a few weeks after Kya left her apartment in tears. She lounged around the house but she couldn't bare it. She closed the doors, turned the lights off, and stayed in bed all day. Every time she left her apartment, she would see the doorway in which Kya stood.

Lin was sitting on her couch and staring at a photo of her and Kya as children. She heard a knock on her door and hid the photo under the cushion. She got up and Tenzin stood in the doorway, just like he had four mo-

"Hello, Lin," he said and kissed her on the cheek. She was stiff as she accepted the chaste kiss. "Are you ready?" She nodded with a stiff smile as the two walked out of the building. They silently walked to the restaurant as an awkward silent existed between them. They walked steps apart rather than casually bumping into each other on accident. They were showed to a table and still no words passed between them.

"What did I do wrong?" he finally asked.

She looked up from the spot on the table that she had been zoning in on. "What?"

"I want you and I to work, but I don't think you do. Ever since I proposed, you haven't spoken to me or even glanced in my direction."

Lin looked down as she focused on the hands in her lap. "I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry, I just want things to be okay again."

"Are you in love with me?"

Tenzin looked shocked at her question. "What?"

"Are you in love with me?"

"Of course I am."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know, Lin. What's going on with you?"

She thought of his response and sighed. It did not help her or ease her mind at all. "Nothing, I'm sorry. I'll be back to normal in a few days, I'm just tired from work." Tenzin nodded and began telling a story about the council meeting he had attended today. Lin zoned him out. _Why couldn't she do this anymore? She had been happy before_.

By the end of the night, they were both naked in Lin's apartment. Tenzin's arm was wrapped around her as he snored. She stared out of her window where the moon shined. It all became too much. She was an idiot. She was an idiot who deserved no forgiveness from anyone. She had finally discovered what it was like to truly feel passion and happiness, but she ruined it for the feeling of security. Even know with knowing she is unhappy, she doesn't know if she would make a different choice. How could she recover from something like this? What would she tell Kya? That she was sorry? It wouldn't be enough. Lin wouldn't be enough. Another person left and it was her fault again. 

She silently cried. When was the last time she cried? She couldn't remember. The tears silently rolled down her face as she watched the moon. Kya would see the same moon, but she knew the other girl would not spare her a second thought anymore. 

There was a transition in the awareness of Lin's own happiness. Before she was reunited with Kya, she was able to pretend that she was happy with Tenzin and the life they had. They didn't have passion or desire, but they could talk. She was happy with him because he shared her political and diplomatic ideas. After she got together with Kya, she realized how wrong she had been before. Kya spoke about happiness so easily that Lin had been reluctant to believe her. Maybe she could finally discover a pure sense of happiness rather than the one she had fabricated for her life. She thought that her previous childhood feelings for Kya were gone. She was just some stupid crush that Lin had obsessed over for nineteen years. 

It wasn't.

Everything Lin did now involved thinking of Kya in some way. Her own apartment was tainted with the memories of that night. She couldn't blame it all on "what could have been" or "in another lifetime" because that isn't what it was. She knew what it could have been and she knew it was in this lifetime. 

When Lin was younger, she imagined all of the ways that her and Kya would be together. When she was a child, she would admire Kya's hands and wonder what it would feel like to hold them for hours and hours. They became best friends and Lin would quickly find out what it felt like. When she was a teenager, she imagined Kya would be her first kiss and she would be Kya's. She was naive to think that. Kya was two years older than her and was far prettier. When she found out that Kya had gotten her first kiss, Lin had been happy for her best friend despite the fact that her heart was crushed. But Kya was still Lin's first kiss, but then Kya left soon after with a promise. Everyday between her first kiss and her nineteenth birthday, she imagined her and Kya being together. She imagined Kya coming home one day and confess to Lin that she couldn't live without her for another day. Kya would confess that Lin was not alone in the intensity of feelings she had. When Su left and her relationship with her mother had become rocky, she held onto that promise. Kya had promised she would come back to her.

But she didn't.

Kya was Lin's first everything. Kya was Lin's first crush. Kya was Lin's first love. Lin wanted to rip her heart out, because the two had been apart for so long and yet she still felt such a pull toward her. She had done all she could to forget Kya and the heartbreak that came along with her, but her heart wouldn't let her. What does it say about someone when you haven't seen them in years, but your heart still jumps at the sound of their name? She remembered the pain of losing her each time. That's all Kya had brought to Lin's life. No matter what temporary happiness Kya brought along with her, it would never be more than the heartbreak she felt when she watched Kya leave. _Would it_? Well, there was no use in thinking like that anymore, because it didn't matter. Kya would never give her another chance and she could never give Kya another chance.

Where Lin was selfless, Kya was selfish. Kya said she had to leave, but Lin had a duty and a responsibility. She couldn't pack up her things and leave everyone behind. That isn't how life works.

She couldn't decide who she was more angry at: herself or Kya. No matter how often she placed the blame on Kya, Lin could never get herself to hate her. Remembering her was Lin's only source of happiness sometimes. Remembering her brought the pain of her leaving, but it reminded Lin that she was capable of feeling happy. Sometimes she would allow herself to be exposed to these complicated emotions, but other times she would block them as soon as they came. Her life was a conflicting mess. 

Despite all of this, she had Tenzin. Tenzin was the rock in her life and he would pick her up after Kya dropped her. He was the person who had always been there for Lin. She never had to worry about anyone else, because she knew she had him. 

She wiped her tears so that they wouldn't leave her face as she watched the moon. She closed her eyes and hoped that tomorrow would be better. Sometimes that's all you can do.

When Lin woke up, Tenzin was meditating in the living room. She got up and watched him silently from afar. He probably didn't know that she was awake. Tenzin was a good match for her. She was abrasive and rude and closed off while he was calm and open. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and he was surprised at the contact but put his own hands on her arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm going to be better, I promise."

He nodded as she let go and showered. She went to work with a newfound inspiration. She would make the most

of what she had. Kya was never convinced she could be happy with Tenzin. She would prove her wrong. Saying and Toph were convinced that she would push everyone she loved away. She would prove them wrong.

"Are you feeling okay?" Saikhan asked her.

"What?" she asked, confused. She turned around from her desk to look at his and realized he had been watching her. "Why are you watching me you creep?"

"You were just singing."

Lin laughed. "Good one. I think that's the first time you've ever told a joke, actually."

"Captain, I swear on the spirits, you were just singing."

Lin gave him a look that told him to shut up and he did just that. "I wasn't singing. Even if I was, you would never have the nerve to mention it if you value your feelings."

Saikhan snickered at Lin's threat. "Whatever you say, Captain. I'm just glad you seem okay again. You've seemed... off these past few days."

"Off?"

Saikhan nodded. "You looked as though you had seen the depths of the world, with all of its hours and whatnot. I mean you usually seem like that, don't get me wrong, but this was more of a sadness."

Lin considered his words. "Don't worry about me."

"Yeah, yeah, big tough Beifong."

"Shut up, Saikhan," she said and was about to metal bend his uniform to tighten against his body.

"Captain Beifong, may I see you for a second?" Lin heard from across the room. Chief Xaan stood at the entrance to his office.

"Yes, sir!" she said and got up. She followed him into his office and he closed the door behind them.

"Sit down, Captain." She did so as he sat at the other side of his desk. "Do you know why I asked you here?" She hook her head. "I'm promoting you to Assistant Captain." Lin sat there in shock. It was too early. It wasn't supposed to be another three or four years. "Are you not happy?"

"Of course I am. I'm merely just surprised considering I was only recently promoted to Captain," Lin said with her neutrality. Of course she was happy. Happier than she had been since...

"I decided to retire soon and you're going to be Chief."

"I'm going to be Chief?" Lin whispered.

"Are you doubting my decision?"

"No, sir!"

"Where do you see yourself in ten years, Beifong?"

"As Chief, sir."

"How long have you imagined this?"

"Since I was a child."

"Has everything you have done in your life been for this position? Everything you have worked for and left behind? I know you have sacrificed more than any other officer. I know that you would be willing to do so in the future."

"I would." All Lin could feel was a sense of relief. It was as though a weight was lifted on her shoulders, because maybe it all wasn't for nothing. Someone was finally seeing her and everything she had let go of for this position. It was finally going to be rewarded.

"Do you think you would be a good chief?"

"I do, sir."

"Why?"

"I'm level-headed and honest. People respect and follow me because of my authoritative nature. I will always put what is best for people in front of anything else."

"I agree. Now, do you know why you wouldn't make a good chief?"

"I'm sorry?" she asked, clearly offended. There was no one else who was up for the position and the long hours that would come with it. No one would be able to handle the level of stress, but Lin. Why was that a question?

"I'll tell you why. You're as much hot-headed as you are level-headed. Sure, you're a reasonable person, but if anyone disagrees with you, you don't reason with them. If anyone insults you, you mark them off as inferior. You want people to compromise with you, but you aren't willing to compromise with other people. You're bitter when someone has wronged you and you are not open to second chances. Captain, this position is a position of people. You will have to be willing to be open with people and to work with them. Do you understand?"

Lin stood there in embarrassment. He thought nothing of it and she knew it, but she was none of that. She tried giving people chances, but they ultimately just disappointed her. Chief Xaan had accomplished much less than her mother had, so why should he be in the position of judgement? "I don't understand why you're telling me all of this."

"I think that no matter what you will be a great chief, Lin. I'm retiring in a year and I want you to work on becoming an even better chief in that time."

"I'm going to be chief within a year?"

"Yes. Unless you're too angry at the insults I spewed at you." Her face was in the defensive but she knew that it wouldn't matter. He would only be here for a year. "So, would you like to become the next Chief of Republic City?"

Lin looked up at him. It was everything she had been working for. People had teased her as a kid because she was so determined and ambitious but she knew this day would come. While other people left their homes and traveled the world, Lin stayed because she knew that the city would need people like her. They would need protectors. "I would."

She had not told any of her coworkers about the promotion yet. Instead, she traveled to Air Temple Island right after work. She had practically ran over there that it made her feel childish. She had never been one to be giddy, but this might be the start. It took her a few minutes to find him as he wasn't in his usual spots but she found him in the library with an air acolyte. The two were huddled over a book together and laughing when Lin cleared her throat.

"Lin!" Tenzin exclaimed and jumped from the girl he had been reading with.

"Tenzin," she said simply. She averted her eyes toward the acolyte. She had dark hair, green eyes, and looked very reserved. 

"Lin, this is Pema," he said. "She's one of the new acolytes."

"Nice to meet you," she huffed out.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was just promoted to Assistant Chief."

"Lin, that's incredible!" She nodded with an awkward smile.

"Congratulations, Captain Beifong," Pema said.

"I should get going, I'll see you later?" Lin said. Tenzin looked like he wanted to interject but he just nodded as she left.

In the following months, their positions switched. Lin started dedicating her day off to Tenzin and visiting Air Temple Island more often while Tenzin started making excuses to see her less. Sometimes, a council meeting would go long or he would have to take some sort of vacation to a temple. Tenzin was starting to withdraw from her and she didn't know how to fix it. Whatever she did, he only became more withdrawn. It all made sense when he made plans to visit her at her apartment.

"Hi, Ten, I haven't seen you in a few days," she said and opened the door for him. He nodded and took a seat on the couch while she followed to take the one on the opposite side of the couch. 

"I'm sorry for my behavior these past few months. You have not deserved any of it."

"It's alright. We'll be back to our old selves soon."

He sighed and began playing with his fingers nervously. "I don't think we will, Lin."

"What?"

"After I proposed, you couldn't even look at me most days. It was like I was some afterthought or a puppy that you had to take care of."

"That isn't-"

"Let me finish. Please." She nodded. "I didn't see you smile for seven months, Lin. _Seven months_. Every time I asked you about it, which was quite often, you brushed it off. I just wanted to find a way to help you, but you didn't let me. I saw you finally smile when you were promoted four months ago and it was like a switch flipped. You suddenly became someone that I had never met in our entire relationship. You weren't the Lin I knew. It was as though you couldn't decide on which one to present to me, so you believed I would like the second version more than the first."

"You wanted me to make more effort."

"I wanted you to be yourself. I wanted us to talk about council meetings and the future of the city and laws being proposed. Instead, you just didn't talk. You became more open with affection. Lin, you held my hand more in the past four months than you have in our entire relationship. It took me this switch to realize we will never work." Lin's heart dropped. "I want kids and I want a family. I thought I was willing to give all of that up for you, but I realized that I shouldn't have to give anything up for you and you shouldn't have to give anything up for me. That's not how a healthy relationship works. I need someone who is more open with their feelings and connected to themselves, like I have been taught. In truth, I think we make better friends than we do partners for each other. You know this, don't you? It's why you rejected my proposal." Lin was silent. "I'm so foolish because I should have realized something was wrong then, but I was so convinced that we were meant for each other that I let it blind me to the truth. The truth is that I have met someone."

"You met someone?"

"I did. Lin, I just want you to be happy and-"

"Leave," Lin said sternly as her temper began rising.

"What? Lin, I still want us to be fri-"

"Leave! I said leave!" she yelled and put her hands on her face to hide her embarrassment. "Did you not hear me the first time, you idiot? Leave!" Lin heard the apartment door open and then shut. She cried as she realized it was all pointless. Everything she had been taught was pointless. No matter how much work or dedication you put into someone, they would disappoint you. Lin knew this. She knew how much people _sucked_ and yet she let herself believe that Tenzin might be different. She wanted to believe that she might not be alone for the rest of her life.

She started breathing heavily as her chest heaved. She recognized the signs of a panic attack. She picked up a photo of Tenzin and ripped it. Whenever she had to help someone at work with a panic attack, she would ask them what the source was. She knew what the source was. It was her entire life plan being fucked up. It was her world turning upside down. Her and Tenzin formed a plan, but he fucked it up. They were going to work together to make progress, but he was selfish and wanted to fuck an air acolyte ten years younger than her. 

She would still be chief. She would be the best chief the city has ever seen. She would be successful and prove to everyone who had left her that they were in the wrong. She didn't need them. She didn't need any of them, because they would always put themselves before their duties. They couldn't understand Lin. 

She watched Kya leave and she told herself it was okay, because she would always have Tenzin who understood her. But he didn't understand her, he only pretended to. She gave up her only source of light for a source of stability, but now both were gone. All because he wanted to fuck some air acolyte. How fucking ironic. Kya would be getting the last laugh now. 

She wanted to think that this time would be different. She convinced herself that she wouldn't be left. 

She stood up and threw a vase across the apartment. Kya had told her that people and happiness were what you lived for. The purpose of life was to feel happy with the people you have. It only took Lin this long to realize that some people were not meant to be happy. They were not meant to find their happy ever after or wake up and enjoy the sunshine. Some people were destined to be alone. It only took Lin this long to realize how terrified she was of being alone. 


	5. She'll Patch Up Your Tapestry That I Shred

Kya had almost ignored the wedding invitation of Tenzin and Pema. If it wasn't for the fact that he was her brother, she probably wouldn't be attending. Her and her mother were on the ship to Air Temple Island where Kya locked herself in her room of the ship. Tenzin didn't tell the two of them about Pema until after he had broken up with Lin. It makes sense why considering that Kya probably would have thrown a wave at her little brother for being so stupid while her mother would have lectured him for hours. He had told them over a letter the truth: Lin was unhappy, he was unhappy, and now he was with Pema. Kya refused to send a letter back for almost a month.

She didn't know how to feel. She was angry with Tenzin, because Lin had chosen him but he chose someone else. She was angry with Lin because she had chosen Tenzin. She was angry at herself for still caring. She felt sorry for Lin and Tenzin. They had both spent so much time with the wrong person. 

She wrote back to her brother a month later and told him that she was happy for him. She told him that she would always be his big sister. She had to support him. He was happy, he said, so who was she to interject to that? She could not let her own feelings get in the way of her happiness for her brother.

How ironic that the cheater was cheated on. Lin cheated on Tenzin with Kya and then Tenzin cheated on Lin with Pema. Was it technically cheating for Lin? I mean, she had just rejected his proposal and the lines were blurred. That's what Kya told herself at night to fall asleep. 

She thought about that night more than she cared to admit. It wasn't because she still had feelings for Lin. Those flew out of the window once Lin chose Tenzin again. Kya's wasn't stupid. She knew that Lin would never choose her like Kya would choose Lin. She would choose her again and again and again, but Lin would always be too afraid of something else. There would always be some excuse to make up and after almost thirteen years, Kya was tired of defending her. She deserved to live a life full of love that wasn't unrequited. So, she tried. Her days were spent at healing centers and her nights were spent at clubs or social gatherings, but nothing worked. At the end of the night, she always ended up alone and crying.

She had laughed when she got the letter. She knew it would happen. She had known since she was twenty-one when they had first gotten together. She never saw them dating for this long, but she figured that it would happen eventually, and then it did. 

Katara suspected that something happened that night. Even if she never said anything, she watched Kya more carefully and tried inviting her to more events to make up for Kya's loneliness. Nothing worked, but spirits did Kya wish it did. Everyday felt like her heart was stomped on. She moved away to be out of the shadows of her successful brothers. She finally felt like she was making progress. She finally felt good enough. That all came to a crashing end when she walked up the apartment stairs. 

Her life in the Southern Water Tribe had been happy for her when she moved there after her father's death. She had made friends, had a stable job, and helped her mother take care of herself. It was a life of normalcy and as boring as it sounded, she enjoyed it. That all ended when she visited Republic City for Tenzin's failed proposal. Lin had made her feel desired again and had made her remember what it was like to feel. Now, she had been without that for almost two years.

In between those two years, they had discovered the new avatar, a proud and lively Korra. Her mother had insisted on training Korra in waterbending and Korra was already showing proficiency in the element. Kya had met her several times as Korra constantly insisted that Kya help her make different snow figures. Being around children was weird for Kya because it made her reminiscent of the obliviousness and carelessness she had as a child. Tenzin would argue that Kya still possessed these qualities, but she knew that that wasn't the truth.

Katara and Kya now stood at the side of the ship with their bags as Air Temple Island came into view. "Will you be okay?" Katara asked her.

"What do you mean?"

"I know it won't be easy for you. You're probably more angry with Tenzin than I am."

"I'm not angry with him."

"There's no use in lying to your mother. Lin means a lot to you."

Kya stiffened before sighing. "I'm really not angry with him. I just think that he's rushing this whole thing, I mean he's known Pema for how long and now they're getting married? I just don't want it to end badly for him."

"I know you don't. Are you going to visit Lin?"

"I have no intention to visit her. Are you going to visit her?"

"Well, it's different for you."

"You're her aunt."

"You're her first love," Katara said. Kya's eyes widened as she turned to look at her mother.

"Sweetheart, I'm not blind. I know you were for a lot of your childhood or else you would have noticed how she was in love with you when she was eight and first discovered what love was."

"We never-"

"I'm your mother, Kya. There's no use in lying to me."

Kya sighed. "We almost twice and then did once."

"The night of the proposal?"

"Yep. The one and only," Kya said with a smirk.

Katara shook her head at her daughter's smirk. "I figured. I saw Lin a couple of days after and she constantly was watching me as though I would ask her about it."

"That's Lin for you," Kya said bitterly.

"So, are you going to visit her?"

"I have no reason to."

"What about the fact that you're still hung up on her?"

Kya laughed. "I am not hung up on her."

"Kya, you have been a moping mess ever since. Whether you still have feelings for her or not, I think it would be wise to talk things out to get some closure."

"What's the use in that? Break my heart for the eleventh time?"

"Not being miserable anymore? Get over your stubbornness and see her. She is a difficult women, but she is a loving one despite her lack of showing it. I think the two of you should become friends, if nothing else."

"Why? It's done us no good in the past."

"It did you all the good in the past. I think the two of you understand each other better than you understand anyone else on this planet. She was unhappy for a long time."

"Who wouldn't be when you're with Tenzin?" Kya laughed.

Katara just sighed. "It was because she was without you." Kya stopped laughing and took a deep breath. 

"She's been angry at me for so long that I can't even imagine her not being angry at me anymore."

"For leaving?" Kya nodded. "She probably blames herself, Kya. Not everyone is perfect in this scenario, least of all you-"

"Thanks, Mom. I really needed to hear that."

Katara swatted her daughter's head. "-but I do think you are both good people worthy of love."

It was hard to imagine Lin missing anyone. It was harder to imagine Lin missing her. She knew her mother was right, at least for her sake. Lin had always been the one to understand Kya. 

She had no more time to dwell on her thoughts as the boat finally stopped at the dock. Pema and Tenzin stood at the end of the dock together. They held hands and Kya could already see a drastic difference in the way the two couples interacted. Tenzin had a bright smile on his face while Pema watched him adoringly. It was almost sickening. 

Tenzin engulfed his mother in a hug as Pema watched from a distance. Kya pulled her bags as Tenzin approached her.

"Kya!" he said nervously.

She gave him her best loving big sister smile. "Hi airhead." His smile then turned bright as he hugged her fiercely. She wrapped her arms around him and out her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for not saying anything sooner."

"Don't be sorry," he let go of her and smiled at her. Kya saw the smile and knew that he was rushing nothing. It was different this time for him. "I'm just so glad we're okay. I thought you were mad or-"

"Tenzin, you're my brother. That's more important than anything else to me... Do you love her?"

Tenzin nodded and gave her a sincere smile. "I do."

"Okay," she said and nodded.

The three approached Pema who nervously fidgeted with her hands. "Pema, my mother Katara and my sister Kya. Kya, mother, this is Pema, my bride to be."

"It's so nice to meet you both!" Pema squeaked. She extended a hand to shake but Kya rolled her eyes. She grabbed Pema's hand and pulled her into a hug. Pema gasped in shock but accepted the hug.

"It's nice to meet you. My brother seems to really like you." Kya let go and Katara then hugged Pema.

"Well, I sure hope so," Pema said and Tenzin laughed.

"Welcome to our family."

Bumi arrived the next day, the morning of the wedding, and almost broke Pema's arm with how ferociously he tackled her. Guests slowly arrived on Air Temple Island as they began seeing up for the wedding. Kya stuck with Bumi for most of the morning festivities as Katara took it upon herself to lead the charge of the day's activities. 

"Do you think she's going to hunt us down?" Bumi asked. He passed a bowl of crackers to Kya which she quickly accepted. They were both on the floor of Kya's childhood bedroom as they stared at nothing on the wall.

Kya snorted. "Yeah, probably. We're supposed to be dressed in like an hour. My hair and makeup isn't even done yet."

"Mine either. What will the world think of me without my hair combed?"

"However will you find a wife my dear lonely brother?" she pouted in an innocent voice. He snorted and punched her shoulder.

"Do you have lily weed on you?"

"Sadly, no. Mom went through my bags to make sure I didn't bring some."

"And you let her?"

"She's a terrifying woman, Bumi. You try telling her no."

"She misses Dad, huh?" Kya nodded. "I do too."

"Me too," Kya sighed.

"You don't even have some hidden here?! Kya, you disappoint me. This is your childhood bedroom and you're telling me you have nothing?"

Kya snorted and rolled her eyes. "I used it all the last time we were here."

"When our dear Linny broke Tenny's heart?"

"Yeah, I shouldn't have used it all then. I didn't realize how much I would fucking need it right now."

"It's okay, you needed it to console your sudden broken heart."

"Fuck off, Bumi," she shoved him.

"Oh, dear Lin, you may be stoic and cold but I'm love and warming! We're like two peas in a pod!"

"I'm going to fucking murder you."

"You can't hide very much from your older brother."

"No, but I can hide a lot from my younger brother. Pema seems nice, though."

"She does. I think they'll be happy. When do you think the first Airbender baby is going to pop out? In four months or-"

"Bumi!" Kya roared with laughter and pushed him. 

"We're all thinking it! When I hugged her, I will admit I was trying to look for a bump." Kya snorted and tears started leaving her eyes of laughter. "I'm sorry, but they met how long ago and now they're getting married? Does that not seem a little suspicious to anyone else?"

They heard a knock on the door and they jumped up, trying to hide behind the bed. The figure didn't say anything but sighed. "Kya, Bumi, I know you guys are hiding behind the bed," Suyin said from the door.

"Suuuuuuuu!!" Bumi said and hugged her. He swung her around and she giggled.

"Put me down, Bumi!"

"Why, you pregnant again?" Kya asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Seems to be a lot of that going around," Bumi said. The three laughed as Su gave Kya a hug.

"I've been sent on a mission to find you both."

"Is it by the witch?" Kya asked, faking a scared voice.

"Tell her you didn't find us. This is Tenzin's big day, we don't want to overshadow him," Bumi remarked. 

"Exactly! Once we step out there, all of the eyes will be focused on us."

"We can't have that, now can we?"

Suyin shook her head. "I'm not going to get in trouble with your guy's mom. She still terrifies me." Bumi and Kya both nodded in agreement. "The ceremony is in an hour and you guys aren't even close to ready."

"It doesn't take very much for us to be good looking, Suyin."

"Still as charming as always, Bumi."

"At your service," he said and saluted. "I'll see you in a while, fair made."

Kya rolled her eyes and started to do her hair. "How have you been, Su?"

Su plopped onto the bed. She was wearing a long and elegant green dress and her long hair was pinned half up. "I'm really good. You could finally see for yourself if you took up my offer to come visit Zaofu."

"I'm a busy woman, Su."

"Right, still breaking hearts left and right?"

"You know it. Gotta keep the girls in suspense," Kya winked. Kya held pins in her mouth as she picked up a bejeweled hair piece to keep her hair in place in the back.

"No one's been able to tame you yet?"

Kya's heart dropped but she smiled. "Something like that. How's the herd doing?"

"If you're referring to my kids, then they're good, thank you. Although Huan is wondering when he's going to meet his godmother again."

"Is he still against the world?"

Suyin laughed and rolled his eyes. "Somedays he's against the world and other days the world is against him. I can't keep up."

"Turn your eyes," Kya warned as he she changed into her dark blue silk dress. 

"Have you seen my sister?"

"Why is everyone asking me that?" Kya grumbled. 

"Because everyone's wondering if you'll finally realize why she rejected his proposal." 

_If only you knew_. "Well, the last time I saw her, she wasn't very happy with me."

"Cheers to that!"

"Does it still hurt?"

Suyin sighed and nodded. "I miss her a lot. She doesn't want to see me, though, so here we are."

"You should reach out to her."

Suyin shook her head. "She'd never listen to me. My sister won't treat me the same as you."

"How is that?"

"She won't listen to anything I say. I'm always going to be guilty in her eyes."

"Maybe we aren't so different then," Kya said and laughed. Suyin joined her. "Spirits, she sucks."

"No doubt about that."

"Let's go join the world, shall we?" Kya asked. The two stepped out for the wedding and were immediately greeted with people. The wedding was taking place in the main ceremony hall. She met back up with Bumi where he snuck her a flask. Their job was to greet people entering but they were doing a horrible job as they kept sneaking way every ten seconds to take another drink. They greeted Izumi and Kya felt reminiscent on her childhood and having all of her friends in one place, all except one. By the time Bumi and Kya greeted everyone, Kya was ready to leave. Ceremony being done or not, it was all overwhelming. She took her seat in the front row between Bumi and Uncle Zuko who had also snuck her a flask. 

"Weddings are boring, aren't they?" Zuko whispered to her as they were waiting for Pema to arrive. "I've been to too many and yet every single one was boring."

"Even your own?"

He quietly laughed before shaking his head. "My wedding was the happiest day of my life, besides the birth of my dear darling daughter." At the mention of herself, Izumi turned to them. Zuko and Kya both gave Izumi innocent smiles as she rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Your parents' wedding was also a fun day but that's it. Just those two were fun, but that's because your dad knew how to party."

"No doubt about that."

"I know you have reservations on marriage, but if you do ever get married, it better be fun."

"Oh, you bet. You can expect nothing less from me. I'll have a waterslide," she winked. He laughed as they both quickly went quiet at Katara's stare. They gave innocent eyes to her before realizing she was shushing them because Pema was walking down the aisle. 

Pema was in traditional nomad robes that highlighted her eyes, Kya noted. She truly looked like she belonged in them. Tenzin's face was nothing short of a lightbulb as he smiled the entire time. Her little brother was getting married. Her airhead of a brother who's face got red faster than anyone she knew and who was the easiest to embarrass. Her little brother who gave her the biggest hug when she came out and helped her wrap her ankle when she twisted it. Her little brother who she knew would drop anything for her without a moment's hesitation. Her little brother shined with a smile. No matter her personal feelings, no matter how she thinks he could have handled the situation, he was happy now.

She wondered if she would ever get married. Zuko was right about her having reservations about it, but after so long, it might be nice to have one person promise to love you eternally. To love one person with everything you have. The thought was easily sickening as it was heartwarming. It would be nice if every thought and emotion wasn't controlled by a metal bending police officer. 

Random tears escaped her eyes throughout different points of the ceremony. By the end of it, both her and her Uncle Zuko's were puffy. 

The reception saved her from letting any more tears out. She sat at a table with her mom, Bumi, Uncle Zuko, Izumi, Izumi's husband, Suyin, and Baatar. They served traditional Air Nomad meals that Kya hadn't been forced to eat since she was a child. The desert, at least, was much better. With both the actual dessert and the drinking competition that Kya and Bumi had against each other in which Suyin was the referee. Kya won (by a lot she pointed out) and by the end of it, it was time for speeches but her and Bumi were both starting to feel the effects of the flask they refilled nine times. Kya was beginning to feel lightheaded but she figured it would at least save her from the pain, so why not?

"Hey Bumi, Kya," Suyin said with a smirk. The siblings looked up at her. "I'll give 100 yuans to whoever can make the best speech."

"You're on!" Bumi exclaimed and got up.

"There is no way you're winning, Bumi," Kya laughed.

"You're evil," Izumi said and shook her head.

"Please don't embarrass me too much," Katara remarked.

Bumi stood at the head of the banquet hall, next to the table of Pema and Tenzin. "Excuse me, everyone! I would like to make a speech to my younger brother! I've been practicing this one for a while," their entire table laughed, "so here it goes. Tenzin, I hope that your love is _intense in_. I hope that you _sense in_ each other that you can always _fence in_ support. I hope you don't have to wear glasses in the future, because that would require you to wear _lens in_. Pema, who is no _problemma_ for our family. In fact, I see her as a _sisteremma_ who can resolve any _dilemma_. You should name your first child _Emma_. With these words, you know to live happy ever after. Thank you!" Bumi said and bowed. The room was quiet until Pema started clapping. It was out of politeness more than anything as Tenzin's face was red with embarrassment. After Pema clapped, everyone else joined in out of pity. Kya stood up and slapped Bumi on the hand as they walked past each other. She heard her table cheer him on as he sat down.

Tenzin groaned as she realized what she was doing. She bounced up to the stage with her smirk. 

"Hello, folks, most of whom I know and others I do not and most likely never will. I am Kya, the sister of the groom today. Now, when Tenzin told me he was getting married, I was shocked. For more reasons than one, because I didn't realize she changed her-" Kya stopped speaking when she saw Katara's and Bumi's eyes both wide as they were shaking their heads. Bumi kept mouthing the words _no_ and then she realized what she was saying. "I didn't realize she changed her taste in men to include airheads." People laughed and she sighed in relief. "In all honesty, I've never been sure who would be a good match for Tenzin because I think relationships need a balance as well as an equal footing. I think Tenzin found that. He found someone who shares his values but will still tease him for Bumi and I when we're not there. I am no expert on relationships but my parents showed us that they are built on love. While I know very little about relationships, I know a lot about love. It comes in several forms because even with a limited romantic love, I know that the love for my family is great. It is perhaps the singular greatest and worst feeling. When you have it, you shouldn't let it go." Tears formed in her eyes but she quickly wiped them away. "I like to believe that people are meant to find each other on this planet. I'm glad you both are celebrating the love between two people meant for each other." Kya grabbed Tenzin's glass of water and raised it. "To finding your person."

Everyone stood up. "To finding your person!" they all echoed.

Kya quickly stepped down and ran out of the room. She grabbed a bottle of liquor and quickly took a sip as she finally let herself cry.

"Kya!" she heard someone yell. She didn't stop until she was in her room. The voice caught up to her as Bumi swung the door open. Kya was laying on her bed with the bottle with her eyes streaked red. She looked to the door as Bumi watched his sister before scooting her over. He lay next to her as they both took drinks from it.

"Go and talk to her," Bumi said.

"What do I say?"

"'I'm in love with you' is a good start."

"It'll do neither of us any good."

"Tell her to fuck herself, then."

"What?"

"Tell her that she hurt you and that she shouldn't have chosen Tenzin because you are great!"

"What good will that do?" she laughed out. 

He shrugged while giggling. "It might make you feel better."

"It might," she shrugged back. "I mean I've been pretty shitty for the past two years and I don't think it can get any worse."

"Get it off your chest!"

"You're right! I will!"

"She doesn't deserve to feel great if you don't!"

"Yeah!" she said and marched off. She took the bottle and went across the ocean. Her entire plan of "wreck every emotion that Lin has ever had" went through the window once she actually saw Lin.

It was past midnight when Lin heard a knock on the door. Assuming it was for the wrong person, she didn't get up. That was until there was another series of knocks. She groggily answered the door to reveal a disheveled Kya. Kya, the Kya she had been dreaming of for the past decade of her life.

"Chief Lin Beifong!" Kya said and laughed. It was safe to say that Kya had drank a lot more on the way there. She walked in without an invitation, swung a bottle, and placed it on the counter. Lin was in too much shock to say anything. She closed the door and found Kya draped on the couch. "Hi Chiefffff."

"What are you doing here, Kya?"

"You're not happy to see me?" Kya pouted.

"You're drunk."

"I'm always drunk, Lin," Kya smiled. She sat up and moved to the side of the couch. She patted the empty spot next to her for Lin to sit down on.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Kya."

Kya rolled her eyes with a mischievous smile. "I won't try and kiss you this time. Or did you kiss me?" Kya giggled. "Despite the number of times I've thought about that night, I can't remember right now!" Lin blushed but hesitantly sat down. "I saw Su!"

"Kya, we aren't doing this right now," Lin said sternly.

"Yeah yeah, wait, congratulations, _Chief_."

"I'm not the chief yet."

"You will be in like a few days, though."

Lin sighed. "It's more than that. I'd try to explain it to you, but you're drunk."

"Was it all worth it?"

Lin looked up to see Kya watching her. Lin shrugged. "I don't know." Kya rolled her eyes and threw her head back. "Are you okay?"

Kya bitterly laughed in response. "Nope! I don't think I have been for the past... what is it, 12, 13 years? One of those. _Are you okay_?"

Lin stiffened at the question. "How was the wedding?"

"How do you think? I'm drunk on the couch of my first love slash brother's first love." Kya fake gagged. "It was nice, though. Boring. Just like the two of them. He deserves to be with someone who loves him."

Lin nodded. "How have you been?"

"Terrible," Kya snorted. "I'm sure you've been _great_ , though. You got the position you've always wanted, what else do you need, right?"

"Kya, I'm not going to talk to you when you're like this."

"Why not? It's not like you'll have a conversation with me in any capacity."

"Because I just won't. You aren't in a clear mind."

Kya rolled her eyes but closed them as she rested her hands on them. "Loosen up, Chief."

"Am I really your first love?" Kya didn't open her eyes as she nodded. "What about your first girlfriend?"

"I really liked her, but I don't think I loved her. Everyone in my life that I've liked has always been divided into two categories: Lin and not Lin." She opened her eyes and showed her two hands as each side to prove her point.

Lin looked down, refusing to look at Kya. "Right."

"Why couldn't I be good enough for you?"

"What?"

"All I ever wanted to do was be with you, but you never wanted that, did you? You told me you did as a kid and then later on, but you just... ran from me." Kya was laughing now but she couldn't tell whether she was laughing or crying. 

"You deserve someone who isn't like me, Kya."

"All I ever wanted was _you_."

"Will you regret saying all of this in the morning?"

Kya laughed. "Probably. Doesn't make it any less true."

"Wanted... that's in the past tense."

"Yes, it is," Kya said quietly. "It's too late. At this point, if we were to drop it all and try again, I don't think I could. Every single abstract fear I have will just be manifested."

"Hippie."

Kya chuckled. "I have never been as good as Tenzin or Bumi. I've spent my entire life trying to make up for that. Could you honestly tell me that if I told you all of this while you were still with Tenzin, you would leave him?"

Lin considered her words but shook her head. "I don't know. I was blinded by the comfort and security of all that I don't know whether or not I would have left. My unhappiness wouldn't have been a factor, if I'm being honest."

"I thought so. I need to move on. I can't keep letting myself feel so... broken. I have been in love with you for so long that I think I'm trying to adjust to not... being in love with you anymore."

"I want you to be happy. I hope you know that." Kya noticed that Lin was almost gentler now. She figured that Lin was probably even angrier at the world, but she wasn't toward Kya. 

"Thank you."

"Also, I think you're far superior to Bumi and Tenzin, but I might be biased."

Kya laughed. "I think you are, Linny."

She turned her head to give Lin a small smile. Lin had an awkward one but a genuine one nonetheless. "You can crash here."

"Oh, I was counting on it. I already made it across the ocean once, but I'm not doing that again."

"Why? Are you that old already?" Lin joked. 

"I'd like to see you control the ocean under your feet across an _ocean_."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goodnight, Kya," Lin said and threw a blanket at the older woman. Kya hummed an acknowledgement as she fell asleep. 

When Lin awoke the next morning, Kya was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hurt me to write


	6. What a Shame She's Fucked in the Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning as we see some dark thoughts regarding death

"Are you lonely?"

"No, next question."

"I determine that."

"Actually, I can leave at any time. Free will and all that."

"You have free will but that means you would have to suffer the consequences. One consequence is that we have repeated this conversation for three days and we still have seen no progress."

"Can't you just sign some slip and call it a day?"

"That would be unethical of me."

"Who gives a shit about ethics?"

"Doctors."

"That's stupid."

"You're just avoiding the fact that you will have to talk about your emotions."

"Whatever."

"Now, who are you close to personally in your life?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Are you going to do this to every question I have?"

"If every question you have is a stupid one."

"Fine. Do you have any friends?"

"What? Are we in kindergarten?"

"You're only making this harder on yourself."

"Ask a genuine question, then."

"Do you have anyone you can talk to, Chief Beifong?"

"What do you mean by 'talk to'?"

The therapist sighed. "As in about your emotions. I know that you aren't married and that your sister and mother no longer live in the city."

"What do they have to do with this?"

"Chief Beifong, the longer you avoid my questions, the longer we will be here."

She crossed her arms and huffed. "Fine."

"You're here because you almost died at work, correct?"

"Something like that." The therapist gave her a deadly glare. "Fine. Yes, I almost died."

"What happened?"

"There was a break-in at a family's house and some fire benders murdered the mom and burned the place down. The dad got out but their daughter was left inside. He was going to go inside, but I stopped him and went instead. I found the girl crying over her mom's body as the house was burning, so I carried her out. Apparently, my lungs did not like that."

"This was the Sato's, I presume?"

"Your presumption would be correct."

"Why did you run inside?"

"It's my job to save people."

"Surely there was someone more capable around."

"No one is more capable than I am."

"Did the girl remind you of yourself in some way?"

Lin rolled her eyes. "No."

"I know that you don't respect my career."

"I wouldn't exactly call it a career. You sit around all day and ask questions."

"I help people understand and move on from their trauma."

"By doing what?"

"Asking questions, but-"

"No but's."

"We have been here thirty minutes and I am nowhere near ready to dismiss you. Would you like to be out of work for another week?"

"No."

"Then let's continue. Talk to me about your relationship with your mother."

"My mother grew up in a house where her every movement was followed. She resented her parents for that, so she gave us absolute freedom to opposite their absolute control."

"Do you resent her?"

"Resent is a strong word. I highly disagree with her."

"On?"

"How we were raised. I raised myself and then had to raise my sister."

"Did your sister resent your mother as well?"

"I would have no clue. The idiot joined the criminal circus."

"Oh?"

Lin nodded. "It's how I got my scars." Lin sighed and told the story that she was always hesitant to tell people.

"Do you blame your sister or your mother for your family falling out?"

"My sister was an immature idiot that lashed out because she thought she knew best."

"Was she lashing out on your or your mom?"

"Does it matter?"

"I think it does."

"Maybe both of us," Lin shrugged. "She didn't want to accept the good life she had because she always thought she was meant for better."

"Does that make you mad?"

"What?"

"That she thought she was meant for better."

"Why would that make me mad?"

"It's implying that she was meant for better than the life you have here, is it not?"

"I'm happy with my life here," Lin said sternly.

"That's not what I asked." Lin stood there in silence at the realization. "Why did that comment make you so irritated?"

"People have doubted in the past whether or not I am happy here. Whether or not I am satisfied with the life I have."

"But you said it doesn't make you mad when your sister insults your life here."

"So?"

"So who makes you mad?" 

Wide blue eyes. Dark brown hair in a high ponytail. A contagious laugh.

"An old friend."

"Can you be more specific?"

"No."

"Right. Can I just ask about-"

"No."

"Right. Let's talk about Councilman Tenzin then."

"Why? He isn't a very interesting topic."

"You were with him for ten years, correct?"

"Something like that."

"But then he left you for his current wife?"

"That's the rumor around the street."

"You aren't being very helpful. Therapy is supposed to be an open and honest conversation where I guide you to healing."

"I just don't think I need guidance. I'm doing pretty okay."

"What if you would have died in that fire?"

Lin suddenly looked up. "What?"

"What if you didn't make it out of the Sato estate?"

"Then I would be dead," Lin said plainly.

"Does that thought not bother you?"

"I haven't given it much mind."

"Can you honestly tell me that the fact that you were seconds away from dying doesn't bother you?"

Lin sat there in silence, eyes trained on the ground. "What is there to be bothered about?"

"Can you say you died happy? Or loved? Surrounded by love? Satisfied by the live you've lived? Would you feel complete? As though you've done everything you can on this planet."

"How many of us can say that?"

"Fair enough. But do you want to know why I'm concerned?"

"I have a feeling you're going to tell me either way."

"No one that is truly happy isn't bothered by the fact that they were seconds away from dying. I talk to people who have had near death experiences. The most common thing they tell me they felt was fear. They were scared because they didn't think they were ready."

"Maybe I was ready."

"You're forty-one years old. How can you be ready?"

"I have nothing to look forward to," she said numbly.

"Why?"

She took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life. I'm going to live a long life, I know that. It's my punishment for the wrong I've done. But the life I live will be one alone."

"What wrong have you done?"

"I push people away. Everyone has run away from me and I blamed everyone else for a long time. Part of me still does. On the other hand, I've realized that there's a common factor in every one of those scenarios in my life: me. I've pushed people away and now this is my karma."

"Did you push away Councilman Tenzin?" She nodded. "Why?"

"I wasn't in love with him." The therapist raised an eyebrow waiting for her to continue and she sighed. "I was in love with his sister."

"His sister?"

She nodded. "He has an older sister named Kya. I was in love with her from the moment I could speak. She hurt me when we were young and I got scared, so I ran into Tenzin's arms."

"Was she in love with you?"

Lin hesitantly nodded. "I knew that she loved me but I still stayed with him. She was never a... stationary person and that scared me. It scared me that I... I would never be good enough for her."

"Why not?"

"If you ever met her, you would be in awe of her. She traps everyone she meets with her presence because of her radiance. She always made me feel like I could be greater than something I was. Her smile was the Sun, it made anyone want to stare at it for days. She's perfect. I'm not. We balance each other out well, but I could never make her truly happy."

"How do you know that?"

"Have you ever met me? I'm anti-repellant for people. I'm seen and people turn the opposite way."

"But you said she loved you."

Lin nodded and didn't focus on the fact that her heart dropped at the past tense. "I will always be here and she would never want to live that life."

"She told you this?"

"She didn't need to."

"Why did she leave?"

"Which time?"

"All."

"The first time was so that she could travel the world. The second time was because I rejected her after she hurt me then got with her brother. The third time was after her and I slept together because the next day I got back with her brother," Lin said bluntly.

"Why did she leave to travel the world?"

Lin shrugged. "She wanted to escape the city where she would always be under the shadow of her brother. As I said before, she isn't a very stationary person."

"Can I give my opinion?"

"Isn't that what you're paid to do?"

"I think you're making excuses."

" _What?_ " Lin asked, offended.

"I think you have a communication problem. Rather than talk to people about a situation, you make your assumptions and claim them to be true because you don't want to risk being hurt. I don't think she said any of this to you and you've only created this version of her in your head. I haven't heard much about her, but everything I do hear, you have no evidence for. You're incredibly insecure about everyone leaving you that you've manifested that it's inevitable for everyone to leave. You believe her leaving you was inevitable, no?" he paused but not long enough for Lin to respond. "I think you probably blamed your mother and your sister for leaving. You blamed Tenzin for leaving. You were able to hold onto this until because they did have a lot of responsibility. You blamed Kya for leaving at first, but that was until you hurt her beyond an easy repair. You loved Kya in a way that you could never see her in the same negative light that you saw everyone else. Does this make sense?"

"Sort of."

"You blamed everyone for leaving, but in the end you couldn't blame Kya for leaving. You loved her differently than you loved everyone else. You loved her so much that you could never blame her. She's perfect. This makes a problem: who do you blame? Now, you blame yourself for Kya leaving because you realized you played a significant role in her leaving. If you played a significant role in her leaving, who is to say that you didn't play a similar role in everyone else leaving? Kya leaving the last time was your realization that you're not as innocent in all of this as you thought. So now you're in a cycle of self-loathing." Lin said nothing. "When was the last time you spoke to her?"

"The night of Tenzin's wedding. She got drunk at it and came over."

"Was she angry?"

Lin shook her head. "She was sad. She told me I broke her and that she needed to move on from someone who had hurt her so much. Someone who had never loved her the same."

"Did you love her the same?"

"Before that, I had always thought I loved her more than she could ever love me. That made me realize we had always loved each other the same: entirely and completely. The problem was we had no clue that the other was just as devoted."

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"I realized she had spent more time being hurt over me than we had actually spent together."

"So?"

"She felt more pain from me than she did love. The person I loved most was crying to me that she couldn't love anyone else because of how I hurt her. Do you know what it's like to be utterly devoted to a person for years and them not know? I realized she had been in so much pain for almost fifteen years because she thought I didn't love her. Meanwhile, I was in pain for fifteen years because I thought me loving her wasn't enough for her."

"It isn't too late."

"I can't let her go through that again. Or anyone for that matter. If I truly love someone, how can I let them go through the pain of loving me?"

"Lin, you aren't destined to be alone. You're allowed to be happy."

"I don't know what that means. In terms of happiness, I hear she's been able to move on. If she's happy, then so am I."

"Then maybe it's time to find your own happiness."

"By doing what?"

"Maybe it's joining some sort of club or a group or finding people who just have similar interests."

"I'm the Chief of Police. I don't exactly have time to galavant around the city talking about my interests with others."

"No, but you should start. If you don't, you're going to inevitably end up back here. You should also reach out to your four people."

"'My four people?'"

"You don't rely on many people, but the people you do rely on, you're incredibly loyal to. You haven't spoken to any of them in years, I imagine." Lin opened her mouth to interject. "Talking to Tenzin about city matters doesn't count." She closed it. "Despite this, you're still loyal to them. You think about them and their actions and reasons on a daily basis. You might reason that it's because you want to understand why they left so that no one ever does again or because you're angry. I think it's because you secretly want to salvage whatever sort of relationship you can with them."

"They won't want to talk to me."

"How do you know that? You can't speak for others just because you're afraid that when they do speak, you will be rejected."

"Can I go now?"

He sighed but nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She quickly nodded and left the office. She walked home where she poured herself a glass of tequila. She drank it and poured another. And another. And another.

She walked to her bedroom's closet and reached into a box. She carefully opened the box where different photos sat. She pulled one of her and Suyin. Su was six in it and they were at the beach. They both sat next to the sandcastle they had built. Lin had a small smile that was clearly forced as she looked into the camera. Su's eyes were on her older sister as they were full of admiration. Lin remembered the day vividly. They had all gone to the beach and Su had begged her to help build a sandcastle. It took a lot of convincing for Lin to help her younger sister, but when she did she found herself engrossed with the task. Her and her sister were both hard at work until they were both proud of it.

Another photo was of her and Toph. Toph had her elbow in Lin's face and Lin was laughing at her mother's attempt to get Lin to smile for the photo. Katara had taken the picture and had asked Lin to smile a couple of times before giving up. Toph then took it upon herself to get her daughter to smile until she finally did when she had teased Lin about smelling her armpit.

A photo of her and Tenzin from her graduation from the police academy was the newest photo. He had her arm around her waist and they both smiled proudly into the camera as she held her graduation certificate. Tenzin had always been hesitant with physical affection, but when they announced her name, he jumped and cheered her name louder than anyone else had. She made eye contact with him and couldn't help but smile at his pride in her.

Lin's last favorite photo was one of her and Kya on Kya's sixteenth birthday. Lin had made her a cake and was embarrassed. The cake was blue and was poorly decorated as an ocean at the top. It had turned out horrible and Lin had swore to never bake or make an attempt to decorate a cake ever again. Despite Lin's hatred of the cake, Kya had loved it. Kya's smile was radiant as she saw the cake and she gave Lin a big hug. In the photo, Kya was kissing Lin's cheek as Lin blushed and smiled, the poorly decorated cake in front of them.

How can moments like those turn into a life like this?

"Chief Beifong?" a little girl whispered. Lin turned around to face the voice but no one was there. "Chief Beifong?" the voice repeated. This time it was more urgent, but again no one was there. "Chief Beifong!" Lin turned to see the Sato girl crying. The tips of her hair were on fire as she faced Lin. "Why couldn't you save me?"

"What? No, no! I did save- I did save you!"

More of the eight year old's hair caught on fire. Lin dived to stop it from spreading further, but she jumped onto the ground as the girl was gone.

"Why couldn't you save her Lin?" an older voice asked. It was her mother's.

"Chief? Where are you?! What's going on!" Lin cried.

"I left you with one duty, you couldn't even do that."

"I tried! I swear I tried! Please, listen to me!"

"It's not like it matters, does it? It's not like you saved me," Su said.

Tears were strolling down Lin's cheek. She turned around and her teenage sister was sitting down in handcuffs. "I tried."

"It wasn't good enough, huh? I turned out to be a criminal and you still couldn't love me."

"Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Please stop!" Lin said and dropped to the ground on her knees. She panted as tears fell down to the ground. "I tried," she whispered to herself.

"Did you try?" Tenzin asked her. 

She looked up and nodded. "I did."

"You never were honest, were you?"

"Please, stop this. Please... stop," she sobbed. Her heart ached as she looked up and a pair of feet were in front of her. She recognized the feet and the legs. She looked up to see Kya with a sadistic smirk. The Sato girl, Toph, Suyin, and Tenzin were all behind her.

"I'm so sorry," Lin said.

"What good is sorry anymore? Those are the wrong three words I've wanted to hear from you."

"I love you."

"It's too late."

Lin shot up with a gasp from her bed. She was drenched in sweat and panted as she tried regaining her breath. _It was just a dream, it was just a dream_. The photos were still played out on her bed and she turned to the alarm clock: 6 am. She sighed because she knew she would be unable to get back to sleep. She put the photos away and showered, starting her day. 

She still wasn't allowed into work until the stupid therapist cleared her. She figured he would today, though, considering how she had revealed too much to him yesterday. She went to the gym and repeated her daily cycle. There was a poster for a group workout that she considered taking a flyer for. She almost did.

Once she was back home, she put on her metalbending uniform. She then headed to the graveyard. She greeted Raiko as he was already there, standing in the crowd of people. She moved to see the grave's headstone _Yasuko Sato_. She stared at it for too long and started to turn back. It was all too much. Staring death in the eyes was even too much, this was only taking it further. Everything was-

A small hand grabbed hers. She turned around to see the Sato girl. "Why are you leaving? You just got here."

"I, uh... I'm not a fan of funerals."

The young girl let go of Lin's hand. "This is my first one."

"You get used to it," Lin said awkwardly before covering her hands in her face because that was not the right thing to say to a grieving child.

Surprisingly, she heard the girl laugh. "Thank you for not saying 'you're sorry for my loss' or something like that. I'm tired of hearing that."

"It's just the right thing to say," Lin said gruffly and shrugged.

She sighed. "They have no reason to be sorry. They couldn't do anything."

"No one could." The girl shook her head. "Why are you talking to me?"

She shrugged. "You're the first person who hasn't told broken down because I'll be without a mom forever."

"Why aren't you breaking down?"

"I have to be strong for my dad. I can break down any other time."

"You're smart for your age."

The girl's eyes turned bright and her smile wide. "Thank you. My mom always said I would do great things with my mind."

"I'm sure you will. You have to do it for her. Live a life she would be proud of you to have."

"She always told me that to love someone was to live a good life. She said that once I discovered what true love was like she did with my dad, the rest would fall into place."

"I'm sure you'll find someone kind and brave that makes you laugh and loves you."

The girl sighed. "I hope so. I've been planning my dream wedding since I was four."

Lin snorted. "That sounds stupid."

The eight year old joined her in laughing. "It does, doesn't it? In all of my drawings they had blue eyes." Lin thought of Kya. "It could be because I only had three colors, though and I couldn't make the eyes black or red."

"Unless you want to marry some sort of ghost."

"I wasn't planning on it, but who knows?... It's... hard. It's hard imagining a world in which she isn't in."

"You're strong, kid. You've just got to get through it one day at a time."

"Sometimes it makes me angry but most times it makes me sad."

"You shouldn't be angry at the world. It isn't a way to spend your life."

"Are you angry at the world?"

Lin shrugged. "Sometimes."

"I'm only eight, I don't think now is the time for life advice."

"You're smarter than I was at eight." The girl smiled.

"Thank you for saving me. I don't know what would have happened, but my dad needs me. We have to be strong for each other." Lin looked at the girl in shock. She was eight years old and had seen her mother die. She had almost died herself, but she was pulling it together.

"Why?"

"Because he's my dad. You always stick around with the people you love. If you stick by them, they'll stick by you. Even if they're sick or hurt, you should help them because loving someone means being there for every high and low point."

"What's your name?"

"Asami Sato."

"It's nice to meet you, Asami Sato. I'm Lin Beifong," Lin said and extended her hand.

"I know who you are," Asami replied but still shook the chief's hand.

"No, you knew of me, but you know me."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Lin Beifong. Thank you for saving my life."

Lin lightly chuckled and shook her head. "I'm just doing my job."

"Well then, you do a good job at doing your job." 

"You're a weird kid."

She nodded. "It's okay, though, because I'm smart."

"Fair enough." Lin realized that this was the longest conversation she had held with someone besides a colleague in years. It was to an eight year old who was avoiding the emotional people at her mother's funeral.

"I should go find my dad or talk to some people. They get worried if I go missing for more than a few minutes. Nice to meet you, Chief Beifong."

"You too, Miss Sato," she said with a mini salute. Asami had a small smile as she walked into the crowd of people.

Lin didn't stay around until the end of the funeral. Sadly, she had an appointment to keep. She couldn't decide whether she would rather be at a funeral or a therapy session.

"Hello, Chief. Nice to see you."

"Wish I could say the same," she said and sat down.

"So, did we come into any revelations in our day apart?"

"I should start to pull myself together." The doctor stared at her in shock. "I need to move on from dwelling on the past every second of my life. I am plagues by insecurities that I don't know which version of them is the true version of themself or which version of me is my true self. I don't forgive them, but that doesn't mean I should let them control my life. If they need me, they will be able to see that I am strong enough to live on my own without plagued thoughts of them. I should learn to try and be happy."

"Not bad. How long did it take you to rehearse?"

"Fuck you." The doctor laughed. "Am I allowed to go back to work now?"

"You've been here for ten seconds."

"And yet I'm tired of it already."

"I think we should talk a plan and then I can sign you off."

"Finally, you become useful."


End file.
